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Brenda Song, Victoria Justice

Paul Fenton/ZumaPress.com, AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

So Obama won (yay), but the craziest election ever is over (boo). So what am I going to think about now? Leighton Meester?
—Taylor, Norfolk, Va.

Need some new obsessions, eh? What happened, did Brenda Song quit the business? Or did you just tire of waiting for her to dissolve into a four-rock-a-day crack habit? Fine, fine. Here are some things I'm keeping an eye on for you:

1. Victoria Justice: She's the new new Brenda Song, you know. After the requisite early years, posing for publicity photos in cute hats and playing wingwoman for Jamie Lynn Spears, she's about to break big with her own TV series and a part in the TV-movie Spectacular on Nickelodeon. I'll let you know when she poses half-naked in Vanity Fair.

2. Holograms: will.i.am was interviewed by Anderson Cooper in hologram form on election night. Hey! Let's all turn into holograms! Except for Nicole Kidman, who's already beaten us to the punch.

3. Brenda Song: I know I already mentioned her, but just in case I'm losing you at this point, here she is again! Everybody scream!

4. Madonna's Mesmerizingly Waxy Skin: Every single day, it's a little different—sometimes harkening after semimelted-cream-cheese, sometimes veering into rendered-deer-fat territory. Go ahead; steal the idea and start that blog. I won't charge you or anything.

5. The Wrath of the Lich King: The World of Warcraft expansion pack comes out later this month. If your gnome warlock alchemist were a level 70, you'd already know that.

6. Sarah Palin's Talk Show: The Hollywood Reporter launched rumors of a Palin TV chat show last month. Now that she has no shot at pretending to run Congress, maybe we'll see Palin yakking it up on Oxygen. Her first guest? And her second and her third? Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Duh.

7. Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Eventual Total Breakdown

And one more thing: Amy Winehouse's husband is on the loose again, you know. What did I miss? Let me know in the comment section.

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