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Talk about a dating nightmare!

If anyone out there is still under the false impression that great guys do exist and that first dates aren't actually horrifying, look away now. Because this will straight up kill your spirit.

Twitter user Anne Thériault was innocently minding her own business at a Toronto coffee shop when she found herself as a witness to one of the worst romantic run-ins in history. But instead of just putting her headphones in or crawling under her table to escape the awkwardness, she decided to give the world a gift and live-tweet the action for all to read. 

Those of you who are still on the market, take this poor woman's experience as a cautionary tale; and those of you who are taken, thank your lucky stars you'll never wind up on a date with this guy.

Things started off innocently enough, as far as douchebags go—he was your typical self-involved aspiring writer, meeting a girl who clearly wasn't expecting a self-involved aspiring writer. But then as soon as a James Franco comparison came up, Anne knew the date was doomed forever.

Things only got worse from there, delving into every single hipster stereotype that's ever existed.

Luckily, the woman had a backup plan. (Ladies, take note).

It seems she escaped relatively unscathed, but our thoughts are prayers are with her during these hard times. May no woman be forced to go through a date as bad as this again.