Matt Damon

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The world changed today. And we're not sure yet if it was for the better.

Today, Matt Damon debuted a ponytail. During a press conference for his upcoming film The Great Wall, he talked to reporters and smiled like he wasn't completely flipping our world upside down with his ponytail-ness.

We have so many questions for that little tail of hair that's popping out from the 44-year-old actor's head and we really can't adequately express our feelings for this new 'do until we get some answers.

So Matt Damon's ponytail, please, tell us…

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

1. What are you?

2. Why are you here?

3. Where did you come from?

4. How did you get to be on Matt Damon's skull?

5. Who do you think you are?

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

6. Did you come alone?

7. Did Matt Damon ask you to do this?

8. Does Matt Damon even know you're there?

9. Is this in response to Ben Affleck's newly single status?

10. Are you part of Matt Damon's rebellious phase?

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

11. Are you real?

12. Or are you a fantasy?

13. Are we human?

14. Or are we dancers?

15. Does Matt Damon keep all his secrets in you?

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

16. What do you want from us?

17. How long will you be staying with Matt Damon?

18. Have you always been there and we just never noticed?

19. How did you manage to make Matt Damon look 20 years younger?

20. Are you scared of the day you get lopped off?

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

21. What's your sign?

22. What does Matt Damon's skull feel like?

23. Would you rather be constricted in a hair band or let loose to fly free?

24. What are you doing this Fourth of July weekend?

25. Can we keep you?

Please answer our questions to the best of your ability at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

Love,

E! Online

Matt Damon

ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

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