Araya Diaz/Getty Images
Araya Diaz/Getty Images
Bruce Jenner says that, despite feeling like a woman inside, he didn't wear women's clothing all that much.
"Not much, I looked terrible," Jenner laughed during his epic sit-down with Diane Sawyer that aired tonight on ABC, during which the E! star confirmed that he was transitioning into a woman.
But he did wear women's clothing sometimes, and he did not hide that from third wife Kris Jenner.
(At this time, Bruce Jenner has not chosen to publicly identify as a woman and so E! News will continue to refer to him as Bruce and use male pronouns, until he indicates otherwise.)
"I kind of downplayed it [earlier in their relationship]," Jenner told Sawyer. "I feel like in a lot of ways, when you loves somebody, you have a tendency, you don't want to hurt them."
Asked Kris' reaction to his cross-dressing, he recalled, "She didn't say much. 'OK, you gonna change now?'"
"I probably was not as good at saying, ‘This is really down deep in my soul and I don't know if I can go any farther like this,'" Jenner admitted.
He also revealed to Sawyer that he did tell second wife Linda Thompson, the mother of his sons Brandon and Brody, that he felt like his true self was a woman. They split up in 1984 and Jenner says that his "gender was a big part of the breakup...I wasn't as fair as I should have been." Jenner said that first wife Chrystie Crownover was the first person he told at all.
Talking about Kris, whom he was married to for 22 years before they separated in 2013, Jenner said, "I loved Kris. I had a wonderful life with her. I learned a lot from her...I thought we had a pretty good sex life. Later on, maybe we didn't, I don't know."
Ironically, though his was rarely the central story on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, "I had the story," Jenner told Sawyer.
"We've done 425 episodes, I think, over almost eight years now, and the entire run, I kept thinking to myself, 'Oh my God. This whole thing...The one thing that could really make a difference in people's lives was right here in my soul and I could not tell that story."
As for Kris, when he told her about his true gender identity, "It was tough on her. "You see your husband, I get that. I understand...Kris is a good woman. I've got no complaints with her. She's a good person."
But if she had "understood" more what he was going through, "we'd probably still be together," Jenner concluded.
Learn more about what it means to be transgender at http://glaad.org/transgender
If you are transgender and need help or advice, contact the Trevor Project http://t.co/guMjyYIfng
Tune into a live special edition of E! News at 11 p.m., directly after Bruce Jenner's interview