Summertime and the movies are blockbusters. That's how the song goes, right?
Whatever. That's how the song should go. Especially when you look at 2015's summer movie lineup. To steal a Guy Fieri-ism, the next four months are going to be bonkers, off the chain and out of bounds.
We picked the top 22 movies hitting the big screen this summer and ranked them based on how excited we are to see them in an overly air-conditioned room with strangers who wait until a quiet, dramatic part to open their Raisinettes. So consider this not only your schedule of summer movies that will debut in the next couple of months, but also as a barometer of whether you should see it opening night or just wait until you can download it purchase it legally from Redbox.
22. Entourage (June 5)
We are wary of movie adaptions of television shows, especially shows that stayed on past their prime.
21. Mad Max: Fury Road (May 15)
We swear this movie was supposed to come out like two years ago, which means we're already bored with it. As much as we worship Charlize Theron, especially when she's a badass, this one is a "meh" on our anticipation scale.
20. Pan (July 24)
Sorry, we just can't fake our excitement for this when we don't have any, even though we think Hugh Jackman makes a pretty legit Captain Hook.
19. Aloha (May 29)
We don't care about the plotline; we care that it stars Emma Stone, John Krasinski, Rachel McAdams and Bradley Cooper.
18. Pixels (July 24)
We're cautiously optimistic for this one because we love the premise and Peter Dinklage and Jane Krakowski in a comedy together means someone hacked our dreams and made them a reality. But it's got Adam Sandler, which makes us nervous because his film track record is seriously tarnished. And that's putting it nicely.
17. Hot Pursuit (May 8)
We love to see two talented females leading a summer film, but we wish they had a better vehicle. Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara deserve better.
16. Fantastic Four (August 7)
The only reason we're even remotely interested in this reboot is because of the cast. We hope we're totally wrong about our lukewarm sentiment toward the superhero film. We really do. Prove us wrong, kids!
15. Tomorrowland (May 22)
We still aren't sure what this movie is about, but Disney almost always knows what it's doing so we're giving it the benefit of the doubt and putting it on the better side of the list.
14. Poltergeist (May 22)
Usually we turn our nose up when Hollywood remakes horror classics, but this one looks promising.
13. San Andreas 3D (May 29)
Don't judge us for ranking this one so high! We can't resist ridiculous disaster movies, especially ones that star The Rock.
12. Masterminds (August 7)
Kristen Wiig and Zach Galifianakis could star in a movie about deaf/mute siblings who watch paint dry for a living and we'd be on board.
11. Ted 2 (June 26)
We love this pervy teddy bear.
10. Terminator: Genisys (July 1)
We will go anywhere with Emilia Clarke if she asks us to. And Arnold fighting Arnold? Sign us up. Twice!
9. Magic Mike XXL (July 1)
This movie is in the top ten because of reasons. And those reasons are 24 fold: the six packs on Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello and Stephen "tWitch" Boss.
8. Pitch Perfect 2 (May 15)
Aca-finally! Come for the Green Bay Packers' cameo, stay for the tunes.
7. Spy (June 5)
We're Melissa McCarthy groupies and we don't care who knows it.
6. Ant-Man (July 17)
Paul Rudd is an action star! We repeat: Paul Rudd is now an action star!
5. Trainwreck (July 17)
All hail Queen Amy Schumer.
4. Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation (July 31)
However you feel about Tom Cruise as a person, you can't deny that he is the ultimate action movie star. We can't wait to see that ridiculous plane stunt on the big screen. Also Jeremy Renner can get it.
3. Jurassic World (June 12)
Dinosaurs? Chris Pratt/Burt Macklin/Starlord controlling raptors?! You couldn't pay us enough money to miss this movie on opening night.
2. Inside Out (June 19)
The three-minute clip that was released was more entertaining that most of the films that will be released this year. So yeah, it's an understatement to say we can't wait for the whole thing.
1. The Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1)
Sorry every other movie coming out this year (besides Star Wars: The Force Awakens). We've been waiting for this release since the second the credits rolled on The Avengers in 2012. We know it'll be amazing because as the ol' saying goes: "In Joss We Trust." Unfortunately, it's coming out right as blockbuster season begins which means the summer movie season will only go downhill from here.