For those who believe in their heart of hearts that Kraft Macaroni & Cheese tastes delicious mostly because of its radioactive orange color, we're about to burst your bubble. And we're not usually in the business of bubble-bursting, but it is our duty as professional, serious journalists to report this news.
Kraft has announced that it's doing away with artificial dye, which means its Mac & Cheese delicacies will no longer be bright orange. To that we ask: "What's the point, then?!"
The company said this will be the last year that the products sold in the U.S. will have any artificial preservatives or synthetic colors. Starting in January, Kraft will use paprika, annatto and turmeric to color its products instead of the dyes Yellow 5 and 6. But those are our favorite Yellows!
Sure, that's probably better for our bodies but at what costs?
"We know parents want to feel good about the foods they eat and serve their families," said Kraft spokeswoman Lynne Galia, who added that the company has been working on the change for three years. "Our loyal fans told us they don't want their Kraft Mac & Cheese to look or taste different. We've worked hard so the new recipe will have the same look and taste that people know and love from the iconic blue box."
We hope "same look" means that our noodles will be the alien color that we've come to know and love. Because we grew up on that color, from after-school snacks to 2 a.m. dorm meals. Hollywood is already destroying our childhood with all its remakes and reboots; we just want our food to remain the same!
And since today also happens to be the unofficial (but also kind of official) holiday for stoners everywhere, let's all celebrate with a giant batch of Kraft Mac & Cheese, complete with that orange hue that is so bright it almost looks plastic. Yum!