Here's to the Housewives who brunch. We're channeling Elaine Stritch, tonight.
Tonight's The Real Housewives of New York City started out as a normal early-in-the-season episode: The ladies headed to the Hamptons. But once all eight of them—yes, there are eight of them this season— were there, assembled for the first time, drama erupted. Drama over brunch. Why? Because it's The Real Housewives of New York City. Carole Radziwill said it best: "These fights never cease to amaze me."
This episode was a little all over the place, but there were a few bright spots: Namely Bethenny Frankel's zingers and Dorinda Medley's assessment of Sonja Morgan—"She's almost an urban myth" and "She's Mary Poppins meets Zsa Zsa Gabor." These ladies are not mincing words this year.
Of course much of the conversation was about Ramona Singer's breakup with husband Mario Singer—mainly because Sonja wouldn't stop bringing it up and because the other women were remarking how it's actually made Ramona into a human again. "You look into her eyes and you see someone is there, looking back," Heather Thomson said.
Before she battled with Bethenny over brunch and whatever they were harping about, Ramona took time in the Hamptons to have probably one of the most sincere moments ever captured of her on camera. "I owe you the biggest apology," she told Countess Luann de Lesseps. "I really do. Now I know what you went through…I am so now upset with what I said. It was callous and unfeeling…it was just not right on many levels. I'm sorry, I really am." You may recall when the Countess' marriage publicly imploded, Ramona was pretty nasty to her. Luann, who was quick to point out she's had apologies from Ramona in the past, said, "I will forgive her, but I will never forget what she's done to me in the past."
At Luann's housewarming party, Sonja came in contact with all the ladies again—some for the first time since the "You don't have a yacht, Sonja" reunion. From her behavior at Ramona's and Luann's, it seems nothing really sunk in about what the ladies said to her last season. At one point she said, "Does anyone wear pantyhose anymore? I just started wearing underwear…" Oh, Sonja. She even brought her own beer to Luann's party.
Once the ladies all assembled at Luann's and were sequestered into a separate room from the rest of the party, it was "the battle of the alpha dogs," as Carole put it. Somebody suggested brunch. But where was brunch going to take place? Apparently Ramona sent out an email that nobody received and took issue when brunch plans started forming that weren't in her control. Bethenny has a new Hamptons place and talked to Sonja about having her come over either for the meal or before. But Sonja was Ramona's guest and she thought it was rude and inappropriate that Bethenny invited her guest over without checking with the host. "It's good to see Ramona's still f--king nuts," Bethenny said at one point. And: "My next book is going to be Bitches Who Brunch."
The two OG Housewives had a bit of a back and forth while everybody looked on in fascination/horror until Bethenny said, "This is not a conversation I'm willing to participate in," and left. Luann walked out with her and summed it up regarding Ramona: "Just when you think she's normal, she gets bizarre."
But it wouldn't be Real Housewives without someone following someone else to continue the fight! Ramona came out and said Bethenny needed to calm down and she tried to explain her mystery email that nobody got. "I don't want to hang out with you…I'm not interested in engaging you," Bethenny told her.
That's when Ramona broke out the "Girl, Interrupted" schtick, baffling Bethenny (and audiences). Ramona telling somebody to calm down? And doing so calmly and not yelling, "CALM DOWN! TAKE A XANAX!" What a world we live in.
But the lingering question remains: Where is brunch?
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)