ABC/Adam TaylorCaskett is married, but it was not an easy road.
We actually wrote that same sentence back in May, before we had seen the end of that insane finale in which Castle was abducted on the way to his wedding. We had to erase that sentence with mild irritation. We spent most of tonight's episode worried that we might have to erase it once again, and our irritation was going to be way less mild.
While on a case, after wondering what would have happened to them if they had never met (always a bad idea), Castle and Beckett found an ancient Incan artifact and ended up in the way of a small explosion. When Castle got up after the explosion, he found himself in a world where he and Beckett had…never met. Beckett was the police captain, Martha was a famous actress, and Alexis had dyed her hair brown and moved to LA with her mother. Castle was still a goofy playboy who had lost most of his money, and he was determined to continue to work the case, despite no longer being part of the NYPD.
Obviously, he ended up abducted, shot in the chest, kind of dying, and then waking up with the real Beckett looking down at him, while we were left with many questions. (Mostly: Why?)
In the end, Castle and Beckett got married in a quiet ceremony in the Hamptons (in front of the same CGI sunset we've seen a few times on Revenge, it appeared) after Castle proposed that they get married right now. It was ridiculous, but made perfect sense on this ridiculous show.
RAVE: Castle: "I would never sing Let It Go as a duet!" – Castle, objecting to an alternate universe incident in which he hijacked a parade float to duet with Idina Menzel.
RANT: The Originals: A lot of things just started making a lot of sense, but that doesn't mean we're happy about it. Basically, way back when, Esther asked her evil witch sister, Dalia, for help with fertility. That magic required a sacrifice, which meant that Dalia took possession of her first born, and the first born of everyone in the entire family line. So not only do Klaus and Elijah have another sister, but if anyone finds out that Hope is alive, Dalia will come back and wreak havoc on the entire Mikaelson family. As if that weren't enough extra family drama, Klaus' dad – his real, biological dad – is alive, thanks to Esther pulling him back before the Other Side collapsed. Did you get all that?
RAVE: The Originals: Klaus and Hayley got Elijah back! He's all bloody, but he's back!
RANT: Gotham: After how great last week's Penguin-centric episode was, this week fell a little flat in terms of a case that had something to do with lethal office supplies. Love the Alfred Pennyworth Fight School situation, though, as long as little Bruce stops hitting other kids with watches.
RANT: Dancing with the Stars: It's time for Tommy Chong to be Tommy Gone. You loved that wordplay. You know you did. (Check out our recap here.)
RAVE: Sleepy Hollow: Ok, Katrina was extremely useful tonight with her very helpful visions, but we're still struggling to trust her or like her, and her decision to go back to Abraham to try to kill baby Moloch – who Henry is keeping in a jar and feeding by way of Succubi – is definitely not helping.
RANT: Sleepy Hollow: Ichabod is not a fan of dating shows. He doesn't think they're real. Well we have news for you, Ichabod: You're not real! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Now leave us and The Bachelor alone, please.
RAVE: Sleepy Hollow: You know how we love us some Hawley, and he is crushing hard on Lieutenant Mills. We say go for it, Abbie! Your life could use a little fun, aside from banishing demons and witnessing apocalypses and such.
RAVE: Jane the Virgin: We're so glad Jane's fight with her mom was pretty short-lived, even if Xiomara kind of deserved a little cold shoulder for keeping such an insane secret from her daughter. The relationship between mother and daughter is one of the only ones on this show that we're not totally torn over.
RAVE: The Voice: Yeah we'll be downloading a copy of Matt McAndrew's performance of "God Only Knows." Great song, great face, great performance, thank you very much.
So what did you watch tonight? Rant and rave with us in the comments!