McDonalds/TwitterYou thought Ronald McDonald the clown was creepy? What about the giant Burger King mask? Forget it, because McDonald's new mascot for their Happy Meals is here to take the top spot for most horrifying fast food representative.
This is Happy, a red Happy Meal box with legs to chase you and a giant, toothy smile that is probably best used for swallowing your child's soul.
"McDonald's today introduced 'Happy,' a new animated Happy Meal character that brings fun and excitement to kids' meals while also serving as an ambassador for balanced and wholesome eating," the company announced on Monday. "Happy will be introduced nationwide May 23, and will encourage kids to enjoy fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy and wholesome beverages such as water or juice."
Will it also encourage kids to run screaming because seriously, which PR whiz decided that this thing was the best bet, spokesman wise?
And guess what? Happy has been terrorizing the world since 2009, slowly but surely planning to bring his reign of horror to America. And now, our time has come. Our time to die.
"Happy is an animated McDonald's Happy Meal box who was first introduced in 2009 to children and families in France. Happy has since made its way to Latin America and other countries in Europe and is now set to make a grand entrance in the U.S.," says McDonald's. "Happy is about bringing more fun and excitement to kids' meals, including eating wholesome food choices like low-fat yogurt."
Honest question: is the idea of low-fat frozen yogurt at your fast food establishment more unsettling than Happy's unyielding stare?
Don't worry if that GIF didn't burn the image of Happy into your brain. You'll be seeing Happy in your nightmares tonight. And probably for the rest of your life.
The Internet is already having a field day making Happy memes, meaning they've photoshopped him into scenarios that are much more likely than him just sitting in the laps of children, teaching them about healthy eating:
seriously @McDonalds this is just not working pic.twitter.com/suSqOLs3u6
? darth? (@darth) May 20, 2014Make sure you eat your side of apple slices, kids!
Or else.