Startraksphoto; Splash; WireImage; Getty ImagesHair and horns aren't exciting by themselves, per se, but when they're attached to Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie, respectively...
Now, that's hot stuff.
And, as always, we've flagged every other need-to-know-about thing that happened this past week for you—it's all right here!
IT'S A BOY: He's not due for a couple months, but now we know that Bill and Giuliana Rancic are expecting a boy, as they revealed to their nearest and dearest at a "guess the sex" baby shower last weekend. They're so darn over the moon, we can't help but be absolutely thrilled for them!
SOWING HIS OATS: Johnny Depp finally confirmed that he and the mother of his two kids, Vanessa Paradis, have separated. Maybe so it wouldn't look quite as weird to people when he bought his Rum Diaries costar (and rumored rebound flame) Amber Heard a horse.
STAYING STRONG: Jack Osbourne, a new dad at 26, revealed he has multiple sclerosis. Mom Sharon Osbourne cried openly on The Talk (what mother wouldn't?), but Jack has been inspiringly upbeat and frank about how he's doing, both physically and emotionally.
FALLOUT ZONE: NBA star Tony Parker got himself a doctor and a lawyer after being caught in the Chris Brown-Drake crossfire. His banged-up eye needed surgery and he sued the nightclub, which was shut down after the melee, for allegedly being lax with the security that night...Model Lucy Pavlovsky described the scene at the club as "a war zone"...Rapper Meek Mill says that his fellow artists were there but that it was "other people" taking it to the next level...And Drake seemed to recall a few days later that he was there.
SHORT AND CURLY: Jennifer Lopez's newly trimmed, au naturel locks drew more attention than most things this week. What that says about society, we won't even venture to guess.
HORNY ON THE SET: The first looks at Angelina Jolie as Sleeping Beauty's nemesis in Maleficent also caught your eye. (Psst, she's much less scary when she's out shopping with her kids.)
NEXT CHAPTER: Kim Kardashian just adores that Kanye West and his driving skills, plus more sneak peeks at Oprah Winfrey's interview with all the Kardashian family principals, including Scott Disick and Bruce Jenner.
SPANX FOR THE MEMORIES: Kim Kardashian reminded folks that Stella McCartney intended to make it look like the wearers of her very popular, partially sheer LBD were flashing their shapewear.
THE ROYAL 3-0: After walking the royal walk, Prince William enjoyed a low-key birthday celebration with his duchess wife, Kate Middleton. At the same time, he came into a bit of money left him by his late mum, Princess Diana.
THEY DO: Nowhere Boy director Sam Taylor-Wood, 45, married her John Lennon, 22-year-old Aaron Johnson...Bobby Brown swapped vows with Alicia Etheridge in Honolulu...Giovanni Ribisi married model Agyness Deyn because, you know, we knew they were dating...Wynonna Judd tied the knot with drummer Cactus Moser...Revenge's Ashley Madekwe married Iddo Goldberg...Think Like a Man's Meagan Good is now thinking like a wife for new hubby DeVon Franklin.
THEY WILL: The Voice's Chris Mann is engaged to longtime girlfriend Laura Perloe.
BABY TALK: Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon and model wife Lily Aldridge welcomed their first child, daughter Dixie Pearl...Molly Sims and husband Scott Stuber welcomed their first child, a son...James Marsden is expecting his third child—and first with the model carrying his baby...Jessica Capshaw and hubby Christopher Gavigan welcomed their third child, daughter Poppy James...Lisa Loeb and hubby Roey Hershkovitz welcomed their second child, son Emet Kuli...Girls star Jemima Kirke is expecting her second child with hubby Michael Mosberg...It's going to be a boy for amateur photographer Nick Lachey and his muse, Vanessa...Model Marisa Miller is pregnant with her and hubby Griffin Guess' first child...Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles is pregnant with her and hubby Justin Miller's first child.
DÉJÀ VU: Alec Baldwin walks out of a building and a paparazzo may have walked into his fist. Now, where have we heard this one before...?
SAD CODA: A week after leaving rehab against the advice of doctors, Nick Stahl has gone missing again, according to his wife.
TV LAND: Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp premiered, but few people noticed...Then the show's producers were sued by Kyle and Christopher Massey, who sure as heck thought they were supposed to be on it, too...Does Jon Gosselin want back on TV? He apologized to ex-wife Kate Gosselin on the third anniversary of their divorce...A former duet partner surprised Britney Spears at The X Factor auditions...A judge refused to do a darn thing to prevent ABC from airing The Glass House...Ann Curry rumored to be on her way out at the Today show...2012 Critics' Choice Television Awards handed out...Arsenio Hall returning to late-night TV next year.
RECAPS: Enjoy all the time you have now to read! And catch up on The Bachelorette, True Blood, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Keeping Up With the Kardashians and the killer-of-Rosie-Larsen-revealing season finale of The Killing.
SCREEN PLAY: Adam Sandler's latest, That's My Boy, tanked at the box office last weekend...No Dumb and Dumber sequel for Jim Carrey...Kristen Stewart is one literally cool customer in the Breaking Dawn 2 trailer...Edward Cullen turned a sparkly 111...Chris Pine talks up Benedict Cumberbatch's evil factor in the Star Trek sequel...Liam Neeson is all fired up again in the Taken 2 trailer...Jennifer Aniston sounds off on the perils of fame in the $ellebrity trailer...Sully goes back to school in the Monsters University trailer...Keira Knightley should steer clear of the train tracks in the Anna Karenina trailer...Get our reviews of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, To Rome With Love, Brave and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.