Fame; Getty Images; INFphoto.com; SplashWelcome to the Week in Review, major headache edition.
There's been literal head trauma, like Game of Thrones impaling a fake noggin modeled on President George W. Bush, Chris Brown's chin getting busted during an alleged brawl and Lady Gaga suffering a concussion in concert.
And there's been the figurative: Miley Cyrus not being able to have male friends, Kanye West being briefly linked to a naked photo of a woman who turned out to not even be Kim Kardashian, etc.
All in all, this week's been a real head-scratcher. You'd better dig in...
KRAZY TOWN: Somehow, some way, a photo of porn star Amia Miley went viral—along with the back story that the photo was of Kim Kardashian and it originated from Kanye West's Twitter feed! All lies!
LIVIN' AS HUSBAND AND WIFE: Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves finally got married in an intimate, down-home ceremony at their Texas digs, and the have the pics and wedding rings to prove it.
BUZZ KILL: Charlize Theron had to shave her head for a movie. Avril Lavigne tried to follow suit, but she only made it halfway.
TIRED LILO: Paramedics rushed to the Ritz in Marina Del Rey to aid an "unconscious" Lindsay Lohan, but it really wasn't that dramatic. She's just tired!
MIAMI VICE: Any stories that implied Miley Cyrus' pool time with pal Cheyne Thomas was anything more than innocent turned out to be all wet.
WHEN BREEZY MET DRIZZY: The happy-go-lucky, cut-records-and-party trio of Drake, Chris Brown and Rihanna appears to be imploding. The gents and their entourages are said to have brawled at a Manhattan nightclub, leaving Brown with an ugly gash on his chin and five others needing hospital trips to treat lacerations. Drake, rumored to have been more-than-friends Rihanna at one point, denies being involved.
APOCALYPSE WOW: Kurtz, eat your heart out! In the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones' first season, one of those heads on a stick was fashioned from a George W. Bush mask. Producers called attention to their resourcefulness in a behind-the-scenes feature on the DVD—but pride quickly turned to regret when it turned out that people who probably don't even watch Game of Thrones were offended.
DEEN OF EMISSIONS: Porn actor James Deen landed a non-X-rated role opposite Lindsay Lohan in an indie thriller called The Canyons. As if it couldn't be any less fun for the whole family, Bret Easton Ellis is penning the script.
SPEECHLESS: Just days after Justin Bieber got beaned in concert, Lady Gaga suffered a concussion after banging her head on a pole onstage.
K-TOWN MEETS O-VILLE: Oprah Winfrey went to Kris and Bruce Jenner's house to interview the whole family for Oprah's Next Chapter, airing Sunday.
MOONLIT SERENADE: Madonna flashed both T and A during concets in Istanbul and Rome, respectively.
BETHENNY AFTER: Bethenny Frankel opened up to Glamour about suffering a miscarriage...
UNHITCHING: David Arquette and Courteney Cox aren't getting back together, boo...Djimon Hounsou fires back at rumors that he's a cheater, high-and-mighty and other unsavory things amid tales of marital discord...Denise Richards and Richie Sambora break up again.
WHOA, BABY: Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof welcome their second daughter, Keeva Jane...Teen Mom's Catelynn Lowell, whose first child was adopted, is not expecting another one with Tyler Baltierra just yet...Hilary Duff's son Luca looks perturbed...Survivor's Rob and Amber Mariano welcome their third daughter, Isabetta Rose...
GET WELL, PLEASE!: Max Page, the 7-year-old Young and the Restless star who played wee Darth Vader in Volkswagen's awesome 2011 Super Bowl commercial, underwent another in a series of open heart surgeries to treat a congenital heart defect he's had since birth.
TV LAND: TLC pulled an episode of Cake Boss that pokes fun at a transgender customer...A lot of Ben Flajnik's castoffs made the third season of Bachelor Pad...Weeds' eighth season will be its last...
RECAPS: Catch up on the Teen Mom season premiere, America's Got Talent,
SCREEN PLAY: Breaking Dawn Part 2's Renesmee revealed!...Kristen Stewart movies dominated the second wave of 2012 Teen Choice Awards nominations...Jenna Dewan is so proud of hubby Channing Tatum's Magic Mike stripper moves...Ian Somerhalder's up for playing Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey...
FAREWELLS: Henry Hill, the mobster turned informant whose story inspired Martin Scorsese's Goodfellas, starring Ray Liotta as Hill, died of an undisclosed illness; he was 69...Ann Rutherford, best known for playing Scarlett O'Hara's sister Carreen in Gone With the Wind, died at 94.
LAW & DISORDER: Bristol Palin was sued by the guy who heckled her during her mechanical-bull ride in West Hollywood last fall...Lucy Lawless copped to trespassing for protesting aboard an oil-drilling ship...Police investigating a burglary at Kanye West's L.A. home, which is for sale...Stephen Baldwin came up empty in his lawsuit against Kevin Costner...The IRS says R. Kelly's in the hole for $4.8 million...Jeff Goldblum secured another restraining order against a longtime fan...
SURREAL ESTATE: Jim Carrey's Malibu beach house is on the market for $13.95 million.
FUN IN THE SUN: Kate Hudson in Greece...Emily VanCamp and Josh Bowman in Monaco...Gina Gershon on a boat in Italy...Elin Nordegren in the Bahamas...George Clooney and Stacy Keibler in Lake Como...