Michael Buckner/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I'm the same age as Miley Cyrus, and I have to admit I was shocked when I heard the news she's engaged. At 19, I don't even know what I want for breakfast—let alone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. What is your take on the sitch? Do you think they'll make it to the alter? Also, is there anything Vicey going on behind their relationship/engagement?
—S
Dear She's Just Being Miley:
Look, S, I adore this gorgeous twosome and have always been rooting for the couple. They're so cute together and do a great job of keeping each other grounded in Hollyweird (with the exception of the occasional penis cake!). That being said, marriage is a big step and it's (technically) a lifetime commitment. We've seen Miley change and grow up a lot in the few past years, so I definitely have some serious doubts. As for Vices? Nothing engagement-related, but that hardly means it will all be smooth sailing for this young couple.
Dear Ted:
I saw the MTV Movie Awards and Taylor Lautner was there—minus his "girlfriend" Sara Hicks. Other stars brought their spouses and significant others to the event. The L.A. Clippers are out of the NBA playoffs; and Sara announced on her Twitter page she was having a girls' night pool party the same night as the awards. There's a pattern forming that Taylor is not with Sara on evenings where there are celebrity events and she's not tied up. Are Taylor and Sara done?
—I Smell a Rat
Dear Ratting It Out:
Hmmm…you want the sexy Mr. Lautner all to yourself? But really, it's not like Tay and Sara were together for years and then suddenly called it quits. They have always said they are longtime friends and they went to high school together back in the day. I'm not surprised Tay-Tay didn't bring his on-again, off-again gal to the MTV Movie Awards. Considering Tay's affinity for Cirque de Soleil, we'd be more likely to see the dude with a sexy acrobat chick by his side!
Dear Ted:
Going out on a limb, but is Sammie Sniffles Scarlett Johansson?
—D
Dear Are You Kidding:
What part of "Three Cheers for the Underdog" screams Scarlett Johansson?! Next guess, please.
Dear Ted:
I've gotta ask. Last month, a pretty well-known blogger who claims to be familiar with the courtroom wrote a Blind Item about a highly publicized franchise couple who've managed to hide that they're actually just a platonic, nonsexual relationship, but that the male has recently been slipping up on his fling with an "obsessed fan." Is it really our beloved Robsten?! Or, could Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson call upon habeas corpus on this allegation in a court of law?
—Bracing for Disappointment
Dear Brace Yourself:
Well, that certainly does sound like our beloved Robsten, right? But I have Margo and Charlie's word that they are not the couple in question. Do I really have to say it? Robsten is for real.
Dear Ted:
I've gotta know! Is Parrish Maguire Kellan Lutz? Please say it ain't so! I've already lost my unrealistic chances with Real-Life Ken [Matt Bomer]...Do I need to be consoled again?
—R
Dear Consolation Prize:
You're in luck, R.Parrish is not the oh-so-sexy Mr. Lutz. But, the two do share something close in common.
Dear Ted:
Jeremy Renner seemed close to Mila Kunis backstage at the Spike Guys' Choice Awards. Anything brewing there?
—G
Dear Rennis:
I seriously doubt it. But they would be a pretty sexy pair.