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Blind Vice Single Guy

Uh oh, Parrish Maguire is in hot water.

And we're not talking about a warm Jacuzzi—ya know, the place Parr likes to hook up with older, more experienced men while other partygoers watch (how devilishly naughty is that?). No, we're talking trouble.

Parrish has a beard problem. As in, he needs one, pronto.

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See, Parrish can't seem to find a H'wood chica willing to put up with him long enough to establish some straight cred.

Which means people are starting to talk. And not just in T-town (where Parr's pals have been whispering about his dude-on-dude sextivities since forever)—we're talking popcorn munchin', movie-ticket buying audiences, too.

And Parrish is freaked out, no matter how much PR his peeps put out to cover his homolicious tracks.

So why can't Parrish land a babe willing to stick by his side?

Well, he's a monster. He's got a horrible diva ‘tude that rivals the worst of the worst T-town be-yotches. And word is spreading through the B.A.H. (that'd be the Beard Association of Hollywood) not to link up with him—which is why you'll see him out and about with a bevy of ladies but nothing ever sticks.

Funnily enough, Parrish used to be a real sweetie (back when we had a long-term cutie boyfriend attached at the hip). But that's what happens when you let your head get out of control—and we ain't talking about the one on his shoulders.

And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Justin Timberlake, Joe Manganiello