JUSTIN CAMPBELL/startraksphoto.com; ZUMAOur gay little hearts are a-flutter.
‘Cause our fave novel, Valley of the Dolls, is getting a (mucho welcomed) reboot courtesy of Precious director Lee Daniels. And while we trust homolicious Daniels to nail the soapy drama (and keep all the gay characters gay, unlike the 1967 flick), the most important thing is nabbing a crew of talented chicas.
So who do we think should don the fabulous '60s swag?
Lindsay Lohan as Jennifer North: It seems a little crazy, no? But hear us out: LiLo has the look (Blond hair? Check. Big boobs? Check.); she's got the talent (remember, she once worked alongside Meryl Streep); and she needs the work. So, why not try booking a small-screen gig? And hey, all her drama in the past could be the perfect research for this role.
Evan Rachel Wood as Neely O'Hara: Now that her True Blood stint has been staked, Ev needs a new TV stomping ground—and Dolls should be it. She's got the pipes to pull off Neely's Broadway tunes (or Justin Bieber ones, remember this clip?) and has the be-yotch ‘tude to tackle Ms. O'Hara's backstabbing, drugged out, diva antics better than any broad we know.
Alison Lohman as Anne Welles: Must admit, we've missed seeing Alison Lohman lately and we think playing snobby Anne would be a divine return to the scene for her. Alison can totally pull off that cold, crisp and removed vibe that Anne dispenses just by flaring her nose. All she's got to do is hit up the market to buy a bottle of dye and swap her luscious blonde locks for brunette ones.
Jonathan Groff as Ted Casablanca: Of course, we had to cast the fabbest character in the series: Mr. Casablanca, the designer hubby to monster Neely who was, as Bristol Palin would say, "homosexual." And we think sometimes Glee star Jonathan Groff has what it takes to fill Ted's stylish shoes. And we know that Daniels will stay true to the Jacqueline Sussan book and keep Ted's character gay (as he should be!), which we so don't see Groff having a problem with.