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Major scare on the Ellen set today!

Ellen DeGeneres suffered chest pains this morning during a production meeting at the Warner Bros. lot and her discomfort was severe enough to prompt a call to the paramedics.

Happily, it wasn't severe enough to keep DeGeneres from taping a segment about it for tomorrow's show...

"You know I like to tell you what's going on in my life. So today, I will tell you what's going on in my life because TMZ is also telling you what's going on in my life," the 16-time Daytime Emmy winner began, taking a good-natured swing at the site that first reported the medical scare.

"So, I'll tell you at the same time that they're telling you. What happened was, last night I was having chest pains. So this morning the paramedics came to look at me. First of all, I'm fine. Let me just say, I'm fine. [Cue the presumable applause.] The paramedics were strippers that I had called. That's how the rumors got started."

DeGeneres said that she woke up in the middle of the night and felt a tightness in her chest—but there were two cats lying on her, so she let it go.

"Then I got to work and it was still happening," she continued. "I was still feeling the pains. So I was like, 'Ya know, I should check this out. It's better to be safe than sorry.' Who doesn't want to see a fireman occasionally? We called the paramedics here on the Warner Bros. lot and about 50 trucks and ambulances, like one marching band short of a parade, showed up outside of my office. Then they come in with an axe, break the door down. It was open. I don't know why they did that."

"I don't know what it is but it's fine," DeGeneres said of her current condition. "I have a baboon heart that I had put in earlier...It's not true. But I want to say thank you to all the paramedics and the nurses who showed up and everybody and TMZ for caring so much...I appreciate it. Thank you!"

In response to an Ellen staffer's 911 call, emergency responders from the Burbank Fire Department arrived at the scene shortly before noon. DeGeneres was seen walking around unaided shortly afterward.

The interview with Wanda Sykes that aired today was taped last week.