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Blind Vice Straight Sex

Everyone in Hollywood is wondering who Portia Vajazzle is dating.

She flies solo when she's strutting her stuff on whatever red carpet she happens to be walking that week, and even though she's been linked up to some of the hottest hunks this side of Beverly Hills, she remains (shockingly) single.

Or so she says. You see, Ms. Portia is plenty busy behind closed doors...

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"She sleeps with everyone," a pal very in the know about Portia's lusty life tells us.

Well, she won't sleep with just anyone. She's got certain standards that must be met, but we'll get to that in a moment.

So who did this young, gorgeous gal bed most recently?

Blind Vicer Stinky Carrot-Crotch, who is known more for his sometimes-silly jokes than his skills between the sheets.

Um, what gives, Porsh? You can totally do better than that dud.

Thing is, P.V. knows exactly what she's doing. She's a crafty chica and digs men with power. Well, uses men with power is more like it.

See, Stinky was more than happy to have her on the set of his latest flick when he knew how easy it was to get into her panties (ya know, if she's even wearing any to begin with).

It's the same stint Portia pulled with the movie before Mr. Carrot-Crotch's. And the one before that too.

We're not positive if Portia's been bedding these dudes to land the roles or just sleeping around once she's gotten the gig, but if we know anything about this town, we're guessing it's the former.

And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Jennifer Lawrence