Morning Bitch-Back! Are Robsten Actually (Gasp!) Annoying?

Readers are peeved that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are everywhere

By Ted Casablanca Sep 05, 2011 10:58 AMTags
Robert Pattinson, Kristen StewartAP Photo/Denis Poroy

Dear Ted:
I was excited for the Breaking Dawn movie. I read the books a while ago, and I thought they were OK. But with all the focus on Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's relationship—I can't believe I'm saying this—it's all kind of annoying. I expected so much more, but now I see nothing but them and that's even more annoying.
—Oasis

Dear Nonsten:
So you're saying life imitating vampy art isn't one of the most beautiful things, like, ever? Babe, you're one in gajillion peeps on here that isn't Robsten obsessed. But look at it this way: Maybe once the series is over the R.Pattz-K.Stew hype will die down and you can watch your Breaking Dawn DVD in peace. But I wouldn't count on it.

Dear Ted:
This Sarah Michelle Gellar Vice has been driving me crazy since the Buffy days. In the past few years all we can get from you is that it's "old." Well, now that she's back on TV in Ringer, maybe you'll give us a better hint? Is it perhaps about her skinny frame, cutie husband, or a certain former costar not known for fidelity?
—J

Dear Vamp Slayer:
Darlin', sometimes the oldies are the best! Sure is the case with SMG, who certainly knows how to keep a red-blooded marriage outta the coffin.

Dear Ted:
Please, please, please give me a clue as to what Jason Statham's B.V. is! Every time I see him in the trailer for Killer Elite I get a little hot and bothered! Is it sexy or a total turnoff?
—Andie

Dear Meathead:
Doll, don't you know that it's Jason's cutie GF with the juicy Vice?

Dear Ted:
Why is Madonna seen wearing crosses when she follows Kaballah? Is it just an accessory with no religious significance to her?
—MB

Dear Religiously Confused:
Madonna was raised Catholic. Remember the Like a Prayer video? So very scandalous, no? So this is just another in a long line of controversial—but not really—accessories for the Material Girl. Bottom line is Madonna can wear anything she damn well wants ‘cause, well, she's Madonna.

Dear Ted:
How come you won't answer anything about the cast of Sons of Anarchy? I would think you'd like answering something different than the same old Robsten junk. I've been a loyal reader for a very long time, and I still adore you and would totally love to meet you, but I'm getting frustrated with the same old gossip!
—Nic

Dear Ready to Riot:
No news is good news, you boob-tube lovin' badass. Charlie Hunnam and his muy talented castmates leave all their trouble on the small screen. Sorry there isn't anything juicier on this bunch to share with ya!

Dear Ted:
George Clooney is charming, handsome, intelligent, successful, yada, yada, yada. And yet his choice of female companionship is... questionable. Sure all these women are gorgeous and, well...and nothing. With everything he's got going for him, including a very loyal and strong family and friend contingent, you'd think he'd want a little more depth from his women. What is his problem? Is he afraid he of actually get emotionally involved with a woman? Or does he think he gets what he needs emotionally and intellectually from his guy friends and his family and only needs these shallow women for his shallow purposes?
—Annie

Dear Cloo'd In:
Georgey gets what he needs substance-wise from his friends and fam. So who can blame him when he picks his ladies based off their pretty mugs? He is the most eligible bachelor in probably the world, and he has his pick of the liter. Trust me, he's not disappointed about his current romantic sitch at all.

Dear Ted:
Does Cindy Crawford have a Blind Vice? Thanks.
—Angie

Dear Model Citizen:
Yes. You're welcome.

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