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As if Craigslist and porn weren't enough reason to own a computer, we now up the ante with an online-only hunk of pleasure directly from The Soup to you, Mr. and Ms. Laptopper.

That's right, you. You who love minor celebrities. You who love ice skating. You who love watching ritual humiliation. Of minor celebrities. On ice.

We could say more, but why not just bundle up and enjoy the pain?