Though in fairness, no one is. Not even Taylor Swift. At least, not at the moment.
So WTF are we talking about? Simply this…
Kurt's onscreen love interest is even more lovable than we thought, as Darren Criss' a cappella rendition of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" will, when the number crunchers reveal the final figures tomorrow, make history as Glee's highest-charting single ever.
Journey won't know what hit it.
While the perpetually ubiquitous "Don't Stop Believin' " previously held the honor, debuting at No. 2 last year, the Criss-led tune will debut at No. 1 on Billboard's digital chart tomorrow, selling an impressive 214,000 copies and outselling the likes of Rihanna, Ke$ha and the Black Eyed Peas.
Not bad for someone you'd never heard of a couple months ago.
But it's not the only surprise the album charts have in store this week.
Taylor Swift's own teenage dream has ended rather abruptly, as she's been booted off the No. 1 spot on the album charts by middle aged wunderkind Susan Boyle.
Boyle's holiday-ready album (there's nothing better to give that aunt you don't know that well) The Gift sold a whopping 318,000 copies this week, dwarfing Swift's Speak Now, which only netted 212,000 copies.
Not that we're in the business of starting rumors or anything (ahem), but we're pretty sure that's proof that dating Jake Gyllenhaal is bad for your career. And that dating Chris Colfer (even fictitiously) isn't.