Jessica Simpson just seems more desperate by the day! Her quickie engagement to Mr. Just-Divorced-Ex-NFL-Dude is so obvs because Nick Lachey got engaged! It's an example of the PR H'wood is known for! I smell Joe Simpson all over it, but I digress. I want to know what really went down between Jess and Nick—he seems like a great guy who was devastated and didn't see their divorce coming. Does Jess regret it now? Also, is Jessica a B.V.? I thought she was Ms. Goody Two-shoes until her divorce. Now I see more pics of her looking drunk than sober. Plus that explains the weight gain and mom jeans.
Dear Not That Simple:
Let's not jump the gun, Jess and her BF have been dating for a good six months, which is like decades for her since she hasn't managed to hold a stable relaysh since Lachey walked out. As juicy as it seems, Eric Johnson's proposal doesn't seem like it has anything to do with Nick's. More like he's ready to be a trophy husband! We're thinking the engaged duos should go in for a remake of the Newlyweds part two. The reality-show horror! Oh, and with all the questions you're asking about this bride-to-be, how could she not be a B.V.! Maybe that's why Nick couldn't hang?
Please break it down: the Us Weekly story about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. And Jason Statham? Is this completely made-up, or did Jason really flirt up Kristen to Robert's displeasure? I could buy Jason chatting up Stewie; he's such a playboy. But I have a hard time believing Robert confronted him and needed bouncers to break it up. It sounds way too fan fiction-y. What say you?