Bitch-Back! Can Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway Please Be a Couple?

Readers badly want the two stars to date

By Ted Casablanca Nov 12, 2010 1:00 PMTags
Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne HathawayINFdaily.com

Dear Ted:
Just saw pictures of Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal at the screening of their new movie Love and Other Drugs. They look perfect together, and they have undeniable chemistry. My question is if they were both single, would they ever give each other a chance? What is really holding these two back from giving each other a shot at being boyfriend and girlfriend?
—Flo

Dear Predictable:
First, have to say we totally knew you'd ask this question, but the answer is still the same: These two are strictly friend material—even if Jake wasn't off licking ice cream with Taylor Swift. They're just not each other's type...And there's nothing wrong with that. We much prefer seeing that hot, hot chemistry where it belongs: onscreen.

Dear Ted:
I feel confident I've got it: Is Maribeth Bush none other than Maggie Gyllenhaal? She's got the 'tude, the teeth and the indie flicks under her belt.
—Hooldoog

Dear The G Word:
You readers think those poor Gyllenhaals are behind every Vice! Why is that? Leave ‘em alone, already. But to answer your question, nope Maribeth is not Maggie. Ms. Bush is funnier—at least onscreen.

Dear Ted:
Just wondering about the ever handsome George Clooney and his girl Elisabetta Canalis. They haven't been seen together since before he went to Darfur, then she goes on yet another holiday but this time without him. Is her time up? This seems to be how his girls make their exits. Should I take back the wedding gift? What do you hear?
—Sarah

Dear Crying Clooney:
You shouldn't have ever bought a wedding gift for these two in the first place. But I don't expect Elisabetta to bow out of the picture just yet—she's serious about this. Confusing, right? Welcome to the nonsensical world of dating George Clooney.

Dear Ted:
In your latest (Bonus) Blind, you called Altar-Ego's fiancée/wife "stupid." Why so harsh? Are you saying she should have known better or is she literally stupid?
—Niki

Dear Marriage Nonmaterial:
Maybe a little of both? Sorry, Nik, but she definitely shouldn't trust her philandering guy. He's really given her no reason to, after all. And yet she eats up his silver spoon-fed BS. Stupid, huh?

Dear Ted:
Have you seen Glee lately? What do you think about Darren Criss? Also, what can you tell us about Harry Shum Jr.?
—AL

Dear Reason to Glee:
Let's just say I'm definitely joining Watch With Kristin's Darren Criss Church. Gives me a reason to watch Glee again when the show has done nothing but try to get me to stop watching lately.

Dear Ted:
Been reading you for about a year and think you're pretty awesome. Wish I could sweet-talk you with news that I'm about to adopt a rescue pet, but we're waiting until our toddler is a little older before bringing a four-legged friend into the house. Anyway, there's something on my mind after reading a lot of the salacious details of your BV's, especially the risky exploits of some of the closeted gay dudes. Because you are a well-known gossip columnist, I'm sure there are a lot of folks who bring some pretty wild—let's even say highly embellished—tales to you because they want to be that somebody who can say, "Hey, I'm the one who told Ted that scoop about Toothy in the parking garage!" How do you know if a source is exaggerating or even lying to you just to get their story printed?
—Susanna

Dear Vice Fodder:
When you've been in the Biz as long as I have, babe, you know the good tips from the bogus ones. And as for Toothy, he's way past parking garages. He's much more in the open now!

Dear Ted:
You've talked about the casting couch a few times, including one that resulted in an Oscar win. My question is if any of the people who take part in casting couches have significant others, and do those significant others know about the casting couch activities? Also, are either Naya Rivera or Dianna Agron B.V.s?
—Ezy

Dear Pillow Talk:
Funny you should ask those questions together, Ezy. Any par-tick reason? But to answer your Q's: Yes, casting couch cuties often have significant others, but who cares in Hollywood. It's all part of the fame game. As for Glee Vices, well, there's at least one (not counting Pat Poisonpuss)...but who's to say it's either of these ladies?

Dear Ted:
Did Slurpa Pop-Off and Morgan Mayhem ever have a fling? Something in me says yes.
—Evelyn

Dear Making Love to the Meth Head:
You have a better shot at narrowing people down by whether they haven't hooked up with Morgan, Ev.

Dear Ted:
I recently saw the box-office numbers for Welcome To the Rileys and they have me worried that most of us won't be able to see this wonderful film. It is déjà vu with The Runaways all over again? I adore Kristen Stewart and have seen all her films. My question is this? Why doesn't Kristen appeal to moviegoers outside of Twilight?
—Tina

Dear Stewing the Pot:
It's not K.Stew, T. It's an indie flick, they're supposed to be small and play in only a small number of theaters. People want to see James Gandolfini outside of The Sopranos, too. It's the medium not the actors. And remember—for those box-office numbers—the movie opened on ten screens.

Dear Ted:
You said once you look forward to reading Suri Cruise's future autobiography. Why Suri's over Cruise's other children? Is Suri's upbringing stranger than the one Tom's older children had?
—C

Dear Scientolo-Tot:
Sure, Tom's other kiddos could dish both on cuckoo Cruise and Nic Kidman (that's some delish dirt, trust), but Suri has the inside goss on bizarro TomKat and all those Scientology shenanigans. Heck, I'd say Suri Cruise's autobiography would top almost all celeb offspring tell-alls. Except maybe Willow Smith's.

Dear Ted:
Do you think if Kristen Stewart is nominated for an Academy Award for best supporting actress for her role in Welcome to the Rileys, she will invite Robert Pattinson to be her date and that they will walk the red carpet together as a couple? Or, if either of them winds up as presenters or guests at the Academy Awards this year, do you think they will use this to come out as a couple? My two rescue kittens, Charlotte and Katniss are licking their paws for some PDAs from this too-cute couple!
—E

Dear Oscar Glow:
Let's let K get a nom before we worry about who she'll walk the red carpet with, but don't get your hopes up for either. That said, there's a much better chance of her doing it with R.Pattz if she's going up for an award than if she's handing one out.

Dear Ted:
Help me out, Ted. You know that picture you featured in your recent Bitch-Back. The one of Rob and Kristen on Breaking Dawn? Is that mid-scene, or when the cameras have stopped? I'm dying to know!
—Ailish

Dear Action!:
Aren't the cameras always rolling on Robsten?

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