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Randy Quaid

AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Jonathan Hayward

As his many fine performances prove, Randy Quaid is a gifted actor. And, as his recent, inexplicable warrant-dodging behavior suggests, he may be a gifted wing nut. But who knew Patti Stang, the Millionare Matchmaker herself, had an intimate history with him? And she's the expert on picking partners. See what she has to say about this particular one ...

"I went out with Randy Quaid once for five minutes, when he was normal. I only did it to meet Dennis." But apparently she got a little more than that.

"Best oral sex I ever had."

At least Patti is sensitive to etiquette. As every matchmaker knows, bold comments on past lover's superlative oral pleasure abilities are for daddy's ears only.