Best. Survivor. Sendoff. Ever.
"You are a 100 percent Grade-A dirt squirrel."
The Tribal Council Players were at it again tonight, with new faces delivering the same old crazy—and one surprise: a Castaway with a rodent problem.
So why'd the camp squirrel go flying home like Bullwinkle's pal Rocky?
For one thing, squirrelly Alina wasn't in the Minority Alliance. She lost her original allies, Shannon and Kelly B., and no one likes orange-sucking food bandits. Or dirt squirrels.
Keyboard Cat: When I first met him in Nicaragua, Benry struck me as kind of douchey—he did advertise himself as a "Hollywood player" after all—but the way he played off Alina tonight was pure entertainment. Is he playing the game though—like Sash and Brenda? It's hard to tell, but I hope Benry has more hate left in him for his other tribemates. For example...
"I Can Play Dirty": The curtains are up again on the Nasty NaOnka Show, but only Dan is fool enough to believe her alliance would punish the Tortilla Bandit—yet. Even though she renders Jeff Probst "speechless" and offers pixilated finger salutes to her tribemates at next week's Tribal Council, Nay still has the Immunity Idol to protect her. But who will protect poor Fabio against her bullying?
Book of Moron: Marty the Mouth needs to shut the Jimmy T. up. He came thisclose to being ousted because of his paranoid ramblings. (Ancient history lesson: Jamie's paranoia in Guatemala so annoyed his tribemates they switched their votes and sent him home.) And must Marty keep referring to Jane's personal misfortune as "the saddest story ever on Earth"? That's just icky—not ranking high on the scale of "I stole your food" to "I'm gonna throw your prosthetic leg in the fire," but still...ick.
G.I. Jane: Chase and his fellow North Carolinian brought a little bit of happy to tonight's episode, even as they bonded over their shared grief. Hopefully her Southern BFF will give Jane a few lessons in chill, because those fish dances and horn blowing are annoying—and it would be nice to have at least one older person around to look after the babies.
Headdesk: As Jeff announced, Alina is the first member of the Survivor: Nicaragua jury, which means...we're stuck with Dan until the bitter end!
Next Week on Survivor: Unless the Medallion of Power is resurrected with the sole purpose of saving Marty, he has to be the next to go. Right?