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Charlie Sheen

SHAN/GSI Media

It's 5 p.m. MST, do you know what that means? That somehow, in spite of recent events, Charlie Sheen's unsupervised probation for assault against his soon-to-be-ex wife Brooke Mueller is officially over. So how does The Soup think Charlie will celebrate his newfound freedom?

Find out after the jump!

  • With a quiet night on his couch watching his favorite movies: Blow, Scarface, Cocaine Cowboys, Dazed and Confused, Cocaine Cowboys 2 and Turner & Hooch. No drug reference in that last one. He just really likes it.
  • By going on a weeklong allergic-reaction-to-medication binge.
  • By showing he's changed and not sleeping with a prostitute, but rather sleeping with an anti-stitute, which is a term he will invent after celebrating with a fifth of vodka and sleeping with a prostitute.
  • With a nice relaxing dinner with his daughters, which he will immediately ruin when he tries to drink his daughters.
  • By using recent events as a wake-up call to turn his life around, but using cocaine as his actual wake up call whenever he has to be up before noon.
  • The same way he celebrated when he was on probation: by partying at the Plaza and reportedly locking porn stars in closets.