Nevermind the love Michael Scott has shown Chili's over the years, the restaurant chain takes even the slightest sign of disloyalty very seriously.
So when Steve Carell brazenly declared—in an ESPY Awards parody of ESPN's bloated LeBron James special—that he would be eating dinner Wednesday night at Outback Steakhouse instead, Chili's management couldn't let it go.
"Clearly, this is a disappointment to all of us," Chili's president Wyman T. Roberts wrote in an open letter to fans posted on the chain's Facebook page, channeling the ire put forth by Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who was fined $100,000 by the NBA over his harsh words about LeBron following The Decision.
"Steve Carell's shameful display of selfishness and betrayal has shifted our 'motivation' to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels," Roberts continued. "His heartless and callous actions will only fuel our constant search for freshness and flavor.
"This shocking act of disloyalty from our homegrown 'funny man' sends the exact opposite flavor of what we would want our children to taste. And 'where' we would want them to go out and eat."
And just as Gilbert vowed that the Cavs would win a championship before James' new team, the Miami Heat, Roberts promised that Chili's food "will be bolder and tastier than those of the self-titled 'Steakhouse King.'"
Hey, as Carell reluctantly explained to interviewer Paul Rudd in the ESPY segment: "In a perfect world I'd be eating at Chili's constantly, but tonight, there's no rules...Outback had the Bloomin' Onion™ and I needed to go there."
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