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Blake Lively, Leighton Meester

CWNY/Fame Pictures

With all these new photos of Gossip Girl's beautiful (and we mean, beautiful) cast members filming on the streets of Paris, you'd think the pretty folks who make up the CW's hottest show would be, I don't know, relatively interesting?

They're well-dressed, well-groomed and unfortunately for us, well-behaved. Come on! They play the trashiest characters on television, and yet the most offscreen drama they have involves what size latte to get at Starbucks. Or, maybe, if Blake's winking at a dude other than Penn. Spare us.

Where are the Mischa Barton-style drug-and-emergency-room headlines, already? Thus, we proclaim that Gossip Girl could hold actually the title for the most boring cast...ever.

Listen up, Gossip kids, ‘cause we're only gonna say this once...

Get your manicured hands and designer-clad beachwear a little dirty. Give us something, anything.

Look: You've got Leighton Meester, whose parents took all the trashy genes in the family, leaving her with a cute button nose and about as much scandal as a poorly frosted cupcake. She's trotting around freakin' Monaco with über-hottie Cory Monteith and should-be bitch-slap partners Katie Cassidy and Selena Gomez, but instead the four are an adorable little quartet of happiness. WTF?

Then there's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley, whose off- and on-set romance should be the stuff that tabloids are made of. Remember how Brad and Angelina's fiery offscreen passion made us flock to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Well, Blake and Penn aren't doing much to invigorate us to flip on the CW (shudder). They're suffering from the far less fiery, far more blasé Reese-Jake coffee date syndrome. Yikes.

Then you have Ed Westwick, Jessica Szohr and Taylor Momsen. Ed has that womanizing scowl that should launch the ‘bloids into a frenzy, Jessica should be just famous enough to launch a steamy relaysh with a Hollywood A-lister and Taylor has all the makings of a should-be diva. Are any of them cashing in on these qualities? No.

Thank Texas-size goodness for Chace Crawford, who's the only one with anything remotely controversial going down. The pot possession was ultimately not that big of a deal, we say, but the drama of it all...quelle queen-size scandal!

Almost.

Gotta say we love the guy for at least getting his pretty little perfect face in a mug shot instead of some panting teen rag. Much more than we can say for the rest of the sanitized and sterilized cast. Doncha just wanna see Leighton Meester with frazzled hair and no eyeliner in a police lineup? Or at least sneaking of Lindsay's latest sobriety get-together? Can't one at least hope?

Don't tell us we're the only ones who feel this way. So, get imaginative: what GG scandal would you like to see—Blake with A-Rod, Leighton in a famous feud, Ed with a sex tape, Penn's gay scandal, Chace with love child?

Weigh in!

Follow Team Awful @theawfultruth @taryder @snarc @jtyboone on Twitter!

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Photos: Gossip Girl Season-Three Stills: TV