Jordan Strauss/WireImage.com, Reuters/Jessica Rinaldi, Plano Police Dept.Every once in a while, we here at the AT like to roll up our sleeves and do a little number-crunchin'. You know, analyze those lab rats living under Hollywood's microscope we call celebrities.
We're social scientists, and that means we have the privilege of coming up with some brilliant theorems that we think reflect our mass audience's opinion. With our trusty polls, we gauge you, the reader, and ask for your opinion on the flashiest and the trashiest celebs out there. Then it's time to gather the votes, make some equations, deliver the results, and once again say, "Suck our science, bitches."
Here's what we've concluded this time:
It's probable Sarah Palin is lying about her miracle bra.
An overwhelming majority of you—74.2 percent—cried afoul at Sarah Palin's denial of having some nip/tuck done to her lady chest. We asked if you thought she fibbed, and it seems that the trust was not with the ex-potential VP. But perhaps even more disconcerting is that 25.8 percent of you voted the option that read "Palin 2012!" Yikes.
(The good parts of Twilight + New Moon) x 2.28 = Eclipse
Of the bloodthirsty flicks, which one got your blood all sparkly and hot? Almost 70 percent of voters said that Eclipse was their favorite Twilight Saga movie. Only 7 percent chose New Moon, and about 23 percent opted for the original, ground-breaking (sure, why not?) Twilight. Obviously, we agree with the majority—the third movie is by far the best and most well-rounded one in the franchise so far and New Moon was the worst.
So then what about Breaking Dawn? Will it be like the Gone with the Wind of vampire movies? Guess we'll have to check in with all you mini Roger Eberts next year.
Blonde K.Stew > Brunette K.Stew > No K.Stew
When Kristen Stewart debuted her new hair color, we weren't sure how the legions of fans would react to the striking change. Nevertheless you voted your support for K-babe...almost 8,000 of you, to be sure. And 21 percent of you said you were sick of hearing about Twilight, though—so the presence of the independent party was most certainly felt this time around.
Still, the love for K.Stew's locks won out. Granted, we could have asked you if you dig Kris with a shaved head and rainbow scalp tattoos, and the results probably would have been the same, but we're glad we didn't.
Pretty face + amazing hair + breaking the law = PUNISHMENT DESERVED
Poor Chace Crawford. The dude was arrested for pot possession in Texas, which just happens to have notoriously harder punishments than the chill, lax L.A. law that Lindsay Lohan faced. (Of course, the tables have since turned drastically for LiLo, but we digress).
Which justice did you choose? Half of you preferred the big law lockdown of Texas, while one quarter voted the slack-giving L.A. judicial system, and the other quarter voted for a total liberation of pot-head prisoners. Either way, this was the least voted poll of the bunch...so maybe you just don't care about celebs with a mugshot, period!
Anna Kendrick ÷ Dakota Fanning x 82 years of Oscars = Kristen Stewart
Yet another poll with a Kristen-friendly outcome! After Anna Kendrick told us that Dakota Fanning was next in line for an Oscar nom, we asked you if you thought any other Twilight star—obviously, Rob and Kristen, duh—would grab the gold. Some 40 percent of you thought that Kristen's risky roles and heavy dramatics would pay off for an Oscar, with Dakota Fanning next at 28 percent and Rob Pattinson's hair winning the award at 17 percent.
Sorry to say that Anna was the lowest, even though the hot-as-hell babe has come the closest. Well, as long as Kristen smiles during her acceptance speech, we're happy to jump on the Stewart ship!