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Zac Efron, Brad Pitt

Eduardo Parra/Getty Images; Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
It's interesting to see that so many Hollywood stars cover up the truth, although there are some fans who would still like them for who they really are. My question is, do Tom Cruise and Zac Efron have beards? Not the facial kind :)
Curious in Ca

Dear Hairy Question:
Why not ask me what position they prefer when having sex with their partners? Jeez. What I find interesting is that this policing of certain stars' sex lives always seems to revolve around the same crowd, why's that? Is there something they're doing that encourages it? Perfect hair and manners, perhaps? Don't see people poking 'round Russell Crowe's sex life, for instance—and he's played gay.

Dear Ted:
Xavier Samuels
has been to two 100 Monkeys shows so I think he gets along well with Jackson Rathbone. I don't think he's sleeping with Ashley Greene, do you?
Cathy

Dear Monkey Business:
Well, true enough Ashely's no Nikki Reed, but, she's also no fool.

Dear Ted:
It's been a long time since we've heard anything about Nevis Divine. Does Nevis' current lady know about his bisexuality? Is she bisexual, as well? What's the word for a bisexual man dating a bisexual woman? Brangelina?
Awful Truth Researcher

Dear Clever One:
Good one! Or quadrosexualism, if you prefer. And the other answer is definitely a yes.

Dear Ted:
I have such a love/hate thing going on with your Blind Vices. I'm obsessed with finding out who they are and at the same time I'm disgusted with myself for even wanting to know. I know you can't reveal most Vices, but will you help me get a little closer to overcoming my obsession by telling me if Toothy Tile is featured in your Blind Vice Superstars gallery? And is Rob Pattinson's BV Twilight related?
Way Too Obsessed

Dear Pushing It:
On the first part, I'll give you this: probably. No comment on the second.

Dear Ted:
Love your column just as much as when I first discovered it. Just want to write in regards to your letter to Morgan Mayhem. I really think you should out what she's doing in hopes that she gets some real help. Seeing how many celebs have died tragically too soon because of drugs makes me worry her time is coming. Just hate to see anyone lose their life because no one stepped in to help them. That's all!
End the Mayhem

Dear Concerned:
Thanks, but, truthfully, Morgan is the only one who can herself "real" help. Ain't gonna come from any other person, place or thing.

Dear Ted:
With her recent Emmy nom for Grey Gardens and directorial debut with Whip It!, it seems like Drew Barrymore's career is on the right track. Plus, it looks like she and Justin Long are back on. However, I was more than a little concerned when I saw an E! interview where Drew was talking about getting wasted after she wrapped her film. Now, I've never been through rehab, but it seems to me that drinking at all is awfully dangerous for someone trying to stay sober. Is there any reason to worry Drew may be struggling with staying on the wagon?
Mike

Dear Sober Cop:
First off, there are a variety of different ways one can get wasted: you should see what Janet Jackson does with a plate or three of French Fries, for instance. Every woman chooses her poison, including me, who's recently smoking again, so I ain't gonna say bupkes from here on.

Dear Ted:
Waz up? I have a theory as to who Topher Hairy-Tuchus might be and if it's who I think it is, then I'll be visiting Craigslist from now on. I say it's Antonio Sabato Jr.
Home France 

Dear Hunt's On:
Nope, as far as I'm aware, handsome, well-muscled, well-endowed Mr. Sabato ain't a Craigslist sex afficianado, nor is he Topher. Think considerably more commercially viable, not certainly not any better looking.

Dear Ted:
I'm sorry to hear about your recent struggles. I've become a devout fan of A.T. ever since you started dishing on all things Twilight. I'm glad readers are showing more love for Kristen Stewart now. I was lucky enough to see her at the Adventureland premiere at Sundance. She was shy, humble, and completely adorable! Has she ever been the subject of one of your Twilight Blind Vices?
Twi & Ted Lover

Dear Double-T Kisser:
Ah, flattery: very smart tool for getting what you want, darling. Just ain't gonna work. But, you're detective radar is as warm as your heart, I'll say that much.

Dear Ted:
Other gossip sites are reporting that Alex Skarsgård is hooking up w/ Kate Bosworth. Is this the beginning of the end for Skarswood?
Sarita

Dear Skarsguard:
As we stated ages ago, Skarswood is toast by X-mas, if not way before.

Dear Ted:
If Ashley Greene is doing the nasty with Xavier Samuels, I might puke. Heard he had a girlfriend but who knows! Tell me if you know something.
Carla

Dear Oh Dear:
All I know is that you sure don't have the stomach for following the Twi babes, that's for sure! 'Cause baby, prepare to be puking over this crowd until it's done!

Dear Ted:
George Clooney's
new squeeze brings up a question. Some have said George's ladies lately bear a striking resemblance to his best friend, Randy Gerber's wife, Cindy Crawford. Is there heat behind that rumor?
Miss Curious

Dear Good Start:
Your first sentence was excellent. But, your follow-up one completely blows it. Go back to your original query, sweetheart, then start again.

Dear Ted:
A while back you said that Nikki Reed was sneaking someone into her trailer. Could that someone be Terry Tush-Trade?
Africa

Dear Way-Off:
Terry Tush-Trade would not be sneaking into Nikki's trailer, for a multitude of reasons.

Dear Ted:
Are you giving up on our Robsten? Because I'm sick and tired of them not coming out...we all know they are "together" in some kind of way! I really have turned against Summit (which I never really watched any of their movies till Twilight) because of what they are doing to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.
Fed Up

Dear Frustrated:
In order that you asked: absolutely no way; of course they are; don't blame ya, but, also don't forget Rob and Kris know exactly what they're doing—stupid, they're not.

Dear Ted:
Do you think the insane and constant speculation (and overexposure?) of "Robsten" is helping or hurting the franchise and the actors? I feel like some people are getting really fed up with it all, while at the same time, I have not seen people today so invested in a Hollywood relationship in my life!
Good or bad

Dear Quote Marks:
"Robsten"?
What's that supposed to signify? You mean like "The Obamas"?

Dear Ted:
You have been kind enough to print and respond to several of my questions on BB. I can see the difference in the tone of your posts over the last few weeks and I know it is because of your personal situation. I just wanted you to know that, because of you, I get an extra giggle every day, because of you, I have changed my attitude towards many things and many people, and because of you, I have decided to pursue a long forgotten dream of writing. Life doesn't always give you sunshine, but sometimes the rain cleanses and focuses you. I know, how "Hallmarky". Still, keep your chin up. Thanks
Ann

Dear Kind One:
Thank you and because you didn't say chins, I'll not swoop in on that huge Hallmark window you gave me. (But, doll, somebody's gotta write those babies—go get paid for it!)

Dear Ted:
What is the deal with Michael C Hall? I love Dexter and I want to love Michael too, but there is something about him I can't quite put my finger on. Is he shy, self absorbed, nervous or just plain weird? What is your take on the guy?
Trying to Love Michael

Dear Dexterous:
Met him, yep, he's cool, he's just not a pr scenester, cut him some slack.

Dear Ted:
Hi, just wondering what's up with Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake? Will they break up soon? Their chemistry is just weird; he doesn't seem interested in her.
Jess

Dear He Is and He Isn't:
Not soon enough, but, yes, soon.

Dear Ted:
Why do you have such a hard time buying the Robin Wright Penn/Keanu Reeves pair up? Do you know something about Keanu that we don't?
Sullivane 

Dear Reeves Snoop:
Yes. But what in the world makes you think it's not Robin's closets that make it not worth working?

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Ed Westwick's new tattoos?
Amused

Dear Ink-Stained:
No. Too much on too little of a guy.

Dear Ted:
I heard that Nikki Reed is completely over Rob. How true is that and is that really possible?
Smack Down 

Dear Bless You:
There's a place in heaven for sweet folks like you.