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Alexander Skarsgard, True Blood

Steven Lippman/HBO

Dear Ted:
What happened to Skarswood? No new pics, no sightings? Publicity stunt, I think.

Dear Skarswood in Denial:
Especially if Kate Bosworth has her way, huh? Tricky one, that babe.

Dear Ted:
Not enough alcohol in the world to get Robert Pattinson to guest host SNL. He'd collapse into one million little pieces.
Jennifer K

Dear Pattz Doubter:
What, no faith in our boy Rob? If Zac Efron can hold his own, we have no doubt R.Pattz can, too. Rob's a joker behind the scenes, he can figure it out.

Dear Ted:
For a gay man, you can be a boorish tool at times. What do you think you accomplished by calling out Rachel McAdams and her 'too mature', sad face? I know you're LA and Mr. West Hollywood but the whole world is not nearly as facile as people in those geographical locations. Maybe she needs to be out and about even as she's in pain. We all have our way of working through the pain of a breakup. Whatever way she chooses, I can assure you that calling her out in your column ain't helping her nor giving her the support she needs. Empathy is what's needed here...not grooming and hair tips. Ugh!

Dear Team Rachel, Not Ted:
Must fess, we were prob a tad too harsh on Rachel. We really do heart her! Just are used to her flawless that's all—was totally taken back by the weird older gal face. Still not sure what's up with that, though.

Dear Ted:
Loved the piece about Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox—so true! It's getting mighty hard to buy into the image of "eternal youth" Maniston is peddling. Maybe that's why viewers stay away in droves from her mindless rom-coms. It is just too darn painful to watch her trying so hard to project that "America's Little Sweetie" image. This seems to me to be one case where an early decision to take the easy way out and trade on the Rachel-image paid off in exactly the WRONG way. Other actresses eventually make the jump to more challenging, mature roles, and embrace their age—even celebrate it. Not this one! She's getting sadder and sadder, and is wasting what is left of her talent. Is there a "Sunset Boulevard" moment in her future, Ted? Whaddya think?

Dear Bored By Jen:
TV is where Jen belongs. She got nominated for an Emmy this year for one appearance on 30 Rock, but she was too busy promoting her bomb (in a bad way) movie Love Happens, which opened 4th, to even attend. Hello Jen, take some time off from chasing your next tabloid target and save that career of yours!

Dear Ted:
Is Whore-Hey Hoeman why you broke up with Jon? You were caught cheating on him and this unnamed chick blackmailed you? Take care.

Dear Tall Tails:
Nice try, but Whore's not exactly my type.

Dear Ted:
You've said that not all the Twi-cast are BFFs. So, tell us (please, please tell us), is TTT particularly close to Robert Pattinson? And before you ask me "what do you mean by close?" with your usual sly wink, I'll elaborate: I mean dating or friendship beyond ordinary coworker chumminess. Come on, Ted. You know you want to answer this one. We love you! We're loyal! We'd spill a drink on Perez if we ever saw him at a party! Throw us a bone!

Dear Letter of the Day:
Fine then—what do you mean by "particularly" close?

Dear Ted:
I love the Awful Truth, but it seems like every question that is asked you have to mention Robsten or Twilight. I love Twilight as much as the next teen girl or cougar but is there such a thing as too much publicity?

Dear Good Question:
Then why'd you just give them more?

Dear Ted:
Does Jackie Bouffant have a current squeeze? And if so, is she aware of his preference for blokes? Thanks awfully.

Dear Jack Attack:
Yeah, Jackie has a current squeeze, just not the kind of gender he prefers!

Dear Ted:
Is Whore-Hey married, with children? Love you, Ted!

Dear Family Matters:
Negative. Love you back!

Dear Ted:
I respect your decision on smoking, because you know the consequents of your acts. I really think the only thing you should consider (and all smokers seem to forget) is where you smoke you might affect other people, please don't be one of those! BTW, you hooked me with Robsten from the first article. I really did not even care about either of them before you. Keep up the good work!

Dear Blinded by the Light:
Hooked myself after that first one, too.

Dear Ted:
I just saw the teaser trailer for Valentines Day. I really liked it! Any predictions for the movie?

Dear Star Studded:
There's no way it won't open number one—question is whether it will make up for all the large paychecks they are dishing out to the mega-celebed cast. That remains to be seen.

Dear Ted:
You're a d-bag!

Dear Rubber and Glue:
Heart you too, xoxo, Gossip Girl.

Dear Ted:
Though I have a good idea who Tobey Yum-Yum is, I don't think Me-Me Dallas has the best of both worlds. Is it possible she's more witchy than she lets on?

Dear Play on Words:
Witchy? Sure, why not.

Dear Ted:
I thought you were fine about Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart keeping quiet about their relationship? Now you are not? I think the picture of Robsten backstage at the recent awards show tells us a lot! Rob with his arm around Kristin - we haven't seen anything like this in some time. Why do they have to verbally say anything to anybody! Why can't they keep somethings to themselves? As frustrating as it might be to us fans, it is none of our business. They owe us nothing—yes it is disappointing to those of us who love them, but it is their business not ours.

Dear Robsten on the DL:
Can't we have it both ways? Or want it at least?

Dear Ted:
The two questions about Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom one after the other in the last column got me thinking: anything going on between the two of them back in the day? (Orli was way too pretty to be straight, right?) Or any other vintage LOTR cast scoop? Thanks, and I hope things get better for you soon.
L Clark

Dear Lord of the Fellas:
And Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger had a hot affair just because they starred in Brokeback Mountain together, too, right?

Dear Ted:
Thanks for the info on the wonderful Kathryn Joosten (she's my fave on Desperate Housewives). Best of hope and wishes to both Kathryn (in her scary battle with recurring cancer) and you (for your own personal matters of the heart). I agree with you when you say people can jump the gun and be a little harsh and judgemental on someone else's situation without having even half of the facts. My grandfather always said that we'll stop making mistakes when we're dead so as long as we're alive, we're bound to muck up here and there, right?

Dear Sweetems:
Yep and thank you much.

Dear Ted:
Lately I have noticed just how similar Taylor Momsen and Courtney Love look. While I am all for women's lib, do you think that Momsen's choice of apparel and general attitude will lead her down a similar destructive path?

Dear Lohan Jr.:
Let's hope not, but I'm not a fan of the recent bestie pairing at NYC Fashion week of Momsen and Lindsay. This young starlet has a lot going for her, and although it's ok for her to look like Court (hey whatever floats her boat), we don't want another drugged out starlet on our hands!

Dear Ted:
As a hardcore Robsten fan, I'm so tired of hearing the Kristen Stewart haters wanting Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson pairing in a movie together. I don't think Kristen would be threatened by it since Rob and Megan have pretty much nothing in common. For instance, Rob is talented, intelligent, humble, and shy. And Megan is ummm, NOT! I say let's pair up K.Stew with someone as equally attractive as she is. I nominate Ben Barnes and Henry Cavill who are both British and deelish! How much chemistry do you think those 2 lovely gents would have with Kristen if they were to be paired up with her in a movie? And would that chemistry be on and off screen too?

Dear All's Fair in Love and Casting:
Fab suggstions, I dig it.

Dear Ted:
I'm totally loving on Dead Man's Bones and Ryan Gosling right now....makes me wonder though...what skeletons does RG have in his closet? Has he been a BV?

Dear Curious about Ryan:
Nope but he's ascending soon!

Dear Ted:
Now that you're single, who would be your Hollywood dream date? Robert Pattinson? Alex Skarsgård? Sexual orientation aside, who would you take to the movies?

Dear Nice Try:
None of the above. I'm switching to women, think I'm done with men.

Dear Ted:
What happened with Ashton Kutcher's movie Spread? Never saw it out in theaters here...and after seeing all of the premiere pics in the tabs, never heard about it again! I thought it was very strange that Demi Moore was on site to give advice on love scenes, etc. and make nice with hubby's younger, female costars. Do you find that strange as well or even just gross? Can's she leave him alone and let him work already? Insecure a lot Demi?
PK in SC

Dear Spread Too Thin:
It sucked. Terribly. That's what happened!

Dear Ted:
Love you, want to have a million babies just like you. Here's my question: Has Chace Crawford been a subject of a BV before? If so, was it recently (think sometime in 2009)? Thanks!

Dear Chasing Chace:
Thank you, no thank you and yes and yes.

Dear Ted:
Kellan Lutz
is really starting to freak me out. Why's he spending so much time trying to look like a 'roid-man? Is he overcompensating for something?

Dear Suspicious Down Under:
He's prob just buffing up for his role in Twilight, so let the man! Yumness.