Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer: In the words of our uncle, Allez dancing! The Iron Chef America chairman was, as advertised on Food Network, quite nimble—light on his feet, flexible and with swagger to spare. Dacascos, a veteran martial artist, has the bod, rhythm and the ability, but Lacey's going to have to make sure she doesn't turn every routine into a showcase for tricks, the way Mark Ballas did with Shawn Johnson. It's not like they won or anything. Oh, wait…
Score: 21. Well, sure enough, Len read our mind, sort of: "I don't want to see kung-fu in the waltz and every dance," the big grump said. "The talent is there, so, you know, keep it tight," Bruno advised.
Ashley Hamilton & Edyta Sliwinska: It was a stiff fox-trot, but for someone who thought he'd never walk again (after brain surgery, not marriage to Shannen Doherty), bravo! However, as Bruno said, Ashley's "daddy knows how to sell it," and that's what the prodigal son has got to do, too. (Dad being Tan Man George Hamilton, who was sitting with Ashley's mum, Alana Stewart, in the audience.)
Score: 15. There was a "total lack of showmanship," Bruno complained, while Carrie Ann advised him to "knock 'em dead" with his second dance.
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson: If Bruno was looking for showmanship…well, look no further! The most dashing Osmond brother was nothing but a showman from start to finish—with a little bit of dancing thrown in for good measure. As far as we're concerned, he's already better than Marie, who got to the finals, so we're thinking this former teen idol's going to go a long way. In fact, I think I can hear my mom dialing the phone right now…
Score: 20. "Too theatrical, too much razzmatazz," Len countered, while Bruno said he could "play an audience like a master fiddler." But all three judges agreed: The dancing needs work. "I was having too good a time, I guess," Osmond said backstage.
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower: Good for Louie, admitting he's never watched an episode of DWTS, let alone never danced before himself. The 21-year-old snowboarder, an aspiring Olympian, has nice arms and a good attitude—and an adorable mop of hair—but the dude needs major work. Chelsie's barely 20 and Louie still looked like a kid all dressed up in dad's suit out there on the floor. The teens and grandmas will love him, though.
Score: 19. "So cute, like watching a little dancing hobbit," Bruno said. Len didn't know how he could hear the music under all that hair, but he thought Louie's technique was "very good" and Carrie Ann appreciated that he "respected the dance and went for the honest effort."