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Whitney Houston, Kanye West, Jon Gosselin, Jessica Simpson, Patrick Swayze

Richard Young/Startraksphoto.com; Michael Caulfield/Getty Images; INFphoto.com; Michael Caulfield/Getty Images; Denise Truscello/Getty Images

Whose inner 17-year-old was relegated to the corner this week upon hearing the news that Patrick Swayze had lost his battle with cancer? Who lamented the lost years of Whitney Houston's career as she recounted her drug-addled past? Who hoped Jessica Simpson wouldn't get her hopes up too much that her beloved pooch would be returned in one piece?

Plenty of delightful things happened this week in the celebcentric world, but it was a hardknock life for some.

Here's our recap of the week in the biz:

1. We bid farewell to the man who revved our engines before we were even old enough to know to know what "Penny is in trouble" meant. Patrick Swayze died of pancreatic cancer at 57, leaving a legion of mournful fans and colleagues in his wake, and DWTS is planning a tribute. Though he likened chemo to "going through hell," while battling the disease he shot a TV series, wrote a memoir and lobbied congress to increase funding for cancer research. Way to roundhouse kick the Reaper in the face.

2. Kanye West proved that any previous promise to mellow out was A LIE! The winner of the Presidential Medal of Jackassery did Beyoncé no favors by informing the MTV VMAs crowd that "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" was a damn fine video—while Taylor Swift was accepting her win for Best Female Video. (He did do Jay Leno a big favor, however.) The probably still-in-shock Swift has since fielded an apology call from Kanye and tried her damndest to put the issue to bed, but we have a feeling Kanye's going to be the butt of a few more jokes before all is said and done. Of course, having Jay-Z on your side never hurts.

3. Jessica Simpson organized a sweetly optimistic yet ultimately hopeless search for her poor multipoo Daisy, who was snatched by a coyote right before Jess' eyes, never to be seen again despite his mistress' valiant efforts. For her next pet, we're thinking kharma chameleon...

4. Jon Gosselin is no longer a dog owner, either, albeit for entirely different reasons. The alleged nanny-shtupper says his soon-to-be ex no longer cares for the family's German Shephard pups when he's not around, so back to the breeder they went. OK... But doesn't Jon's NYC bachelor pad (or Hailey Glassman) allow pets? Speaking of Jon maybe wanting to kill himself, Kate Gosselin's View appearance was very informative and her talk show project with foodie Paula Deen is a go.

Khloe Kardashian Odom, Lamar Odom

Steve Granitz/ Getty Images

5. Oprah Winfrey conducted the Greatest. Interview. Ever. with Whitney Houston, who's topping the charts and inspiring oohs and ahs once again after surviving what sounds like an utterly horrific experience—being married to Bobby Brown.

6. Here's to the winners: Jordan Lloyd was the ultimate HoH on Big Brother 11 and chicken-catching country singer Kevin Skinner triumphed on America's Got Talent. And Susan Boyle's still got it going on.

7. Khloe Kardashian and Laker star Lamar Odom want to get married. Yeah, they just met this summer. No, they're not rushing into anything. Stop rolling your eyes...!

Megan Fox

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

8. Jennifer's Body, which includes Megan Fox's "powerful, confident vagina," doesn't suck, but Love Happens and The Informant! kinda do.

9. E! Online was all over Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Bryant Park, eyeing the spring 2010 designer duds, party-hopping around NYC and, of course, chatting up celebs on everything from their own fashion sense to Project Runway to The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

10. New Moon trailer!...Chris Brown is finally picking up trash...Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are separating...Jenna Elfman's expecting...as is Colin Farrell...Madonna's brother is rather opinionated...Michael Jackson's mom gets quite the allowance...Brad Pitt has a grey beard-thingy...Bethenny Frankel's blogging for WWK...Fergie and Will.i.am are two Peas in a lawsuit...Redmond O'Neal went from rehab-jail to rehab-rehab...Burt Reynolds just went to rehab...Lindsay's burglar may have burgled Audrina, too...Look at Katherine Heigl's baby!...and Sean Penn's girlfriend!...New Moon is selling out already...Kendra's hubby was relocated...Pink's aching...R.I.P. Mary Travers...Beyoncé smells a lawsuit...the new Girls Next Door chat up Marc Malkin...Vanessa Hudgens rues her naked-picture days...Spider-Man 4 slings into theaters in 2011...the Duggars are Parents of the Year...Ew!

The Creative Arts Emmys got things going but E! is taking it all the way on Sunday. We're your one-stop shop for everything Emmy, from the red carpet 'n' arrivals to the acceptance speeches to the afterparties.


If you're having a hard time visualizing all this news, check out the photographic version in our Big Picture gallery.