Even if your concern for the lives of celebrities is only doled out while reading tabloids at the checkout line, waiting to purchase whip cream and 12 pounds of raw chuck, you are no doubt anxious over Jeniffer Aniston's chronic single status.

Of course you are. Now, Joel McHale brings you the screaming tabloid you've been waiting for, completely dedicated to the lonely lady's old maid future. It's not pretty. But if you want pretty, look at Maxim.

Or look at The Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.