Dear Foreward Thinking:
So mature of you! And I couldn't agree more, btw.
Sorry to hear about the breakup. But come on. It was a one-year thing. Most people don't even consider one year to be a union. Dust yourself, think about the good times, put the bad behind you and move on. Don't moon over something so brief, no matter how intense. Hold out for someone you can be with for the long haul. That's the goal after all, isn't it? Now buck up and give us a smile. We don't need you to turn into one of the divas you so amusingly chronicle.
Dear Easy Come, Easy Go:
Many would argue with the "turn into" portion of your sweet letter, but, I thank you nonetheless. You are kind.
Has your Deep-Twi source dished at all on upcoming plans for New Moon publicity? Will Summit really need premieres in Japan, Rome, etc, or will they (partially) rely on all the pre-publicity surrounding this movie and save themselves some money. I imagine security would be a nightmare, logistically and financially, and Summit may want to limit where and how Robsten are seen. And if RP and KS are doing major publicity, they can't be shooting the final movie. Thanks.
Dear Money Talks:
New Moon is quadruple the size of Twilight—expect these kids to be pimped the F out for a while. And also expect lots of Taylor Lautner-Kristen Stewart pics. Maybe those in countries over still buy that she and Rob are friends, who knows!
Ted, I applaud you for keeping the haters away from Kristen Stewart. I have one more favor...I despise the fact the "fans" write exotic FanFic about these real live people. I feel that it is disgusting and disrespectful. Can you please hint to them that their beloved Robsten probably hide because Twi-looney's might try to decipher what their doing back at the crib. It makes me throw up in my mouth.
Dear Draw The Line:
Hell hath no fury like a FanFic writer scorned—trust. Remember the Comic-Con debacle?
Here is a hypothetical for you: You have absolute proof regarding a huge secret—let's say engagement or marriage—between the hottest couple on the planet right now. You are asked outright if it's true, do you a) lie, b) avoid answering, c) spill it, or d) give us one of your cryptic answers?
e) Tell me.
Might want to post this one too, for the animal shelters. This isn't a question, just an online good deed, easy to do thing like the shelter site. it's geared towards kids, by a girl who's about 12 or so [saw it in People!] if you want to pass it onto site's that are oriented for kid's entertainment news.
Dear Slip Up:
Even though you saw it in People, I'll let that slide and put it up anyways.
Do you think Kanye West and Taylor Swift incident was a set-up? I mean, MTV gotta pull something remarkable for the event, right? Something controversial, I might say. Think about Bruno - Eminem on MTV Movie Awards few months ago.
Dear Don't Think So:
I don't think Taylor Swift is a good enough actress to look that naturally stunned.
I'm new to this column, and just wanted to say how much fun it is. But also a lot of the dirt is really surprising to me. I guess I am more naive than I figured. I know this is all about dirt, but I'm curious about celebs that are really nice or have it all together, no skeletons in the closet. Do they exist?
This might be the easiest question I've ever had to answer—no.
I have been reading your column for years—before E! hired you I read your column in Premiere. You have given me the gift of laughter and "oh no he didn't" moments more times than I can count. Through my own heartbreaks, disappointments, dark days, and sleepless nights, you were a bright spot in my day to look forward to. Thank you for that. I realize I don't know you, but I still feel like I do. You have had a crappy-ass year, and if you need to smoke to get through it, you smoke. You're not driving drunk, smoking crack, or stealing the spotlight at the VMA's, so tell everyone to kiss your ass. It may not feel like it today, but this, too, shall pass.
Dear Lovely Gal:
Thank you. I'm not smoking nearly what I used to, but, I do realize the fire I'm literally playing with.
Any dirt on Kristen Bell? What's her story?
She's not the sweetest gal who walks the carpet's...or am I getting her confused with Brittany Snow? Yep, the latter.
You have all but said the Jennifer Garner / Ben Affleck marriage is over except for the paperwork. They seem to be photographed more apart than together lately anyway. My question is who leaves who in this marriage? Will there be a bad guy? Will Jen's mean and wicked ways be revealed? Will some bombshell be dropped about Ben? I hope, for the sake of their children, that if this is where they are headed, its done with class, not trash.
Dear Good Memory:
It will be arranged for Ben to, again, be the naughty one. My guess.
So sorry to hear about your break-up. I hope that things will work out for the best. But, now that you are single, maybe you can tempt Toothy your way. Since you said that Grey Goose wised up, Toothy must be lonely in his closet. Maybe you can help him open the closet door a little and push his life-force draining beard over a cliff.
—Naomi the Matchmaker
Dear Loose Tooth:
Please, Toothy couldn't get this!
Is Toothy's beard a double beard?
Dear Double Entendre:
Practically speaking, no, and that's not her fault.
Just curious but, what's been going on with Britney Spears lately? I was at the store and saw she wasn't on the cover of a tabloid!! She seems to be on the down low lately, what's she been up to?
Dear Crazy Lurking Round Every Corner:
Hiding her problems a lot better, I suppose.
I just wanted to say that you are very strong to be able to keep going when your marriage has ended. Don't worry about the smoking. You quit once, you will again. At least you didn't pick up the bottle. I am so proud of you. I wanted to say that I loved your column on Kathryn Joosten. She is a fighter and she can beat this. My grandmother is 77 & is fighting & winning. You & Kathryn are both in my prayers.
Dear Sweet Thing:
What's the deal with Matthew McConaughey and his baby mama Camilla? They look so awkward and uncomfortable together. Their son Levi is adorable and we see them all out together enough but he never goes anywhere near her. There is no hand holding, smiling, arms around each other, nada and she's pregnant with their second child? It's just weird. What gives?
Dear First Love:
Camilla just can't compete with Matthew's relaysh with his bongo.
My husband of 15 years called me at work to inform me he'd been having an affair and we should divorce. Six weeks later, my mother died and six weeks after that, I had to have one of my dogs put down. I, too, elected to pick up cigarettes again—I also elected to throw myself into AA recovery more intensely rather than pick up alcohol. I will celebrate 24 yrs sober on 12/21 of this year, my ex is back out and has lost everything (house, job, dignity) and, miraculously, I came out the other side better and stronger despite the horrific pain I went through. You will, too, sir.
Dear Through the Storm:
I'm impressed. He called you at work to say he was not only cheating but leaving you—and you didn't light him up along with one of your cigs? You are a better woman than I. Carry on, sweet soldier, and thank you.