Will nibbling a Triscuit make you rich and get you into heaven?

Probably not. But don't confuse Miracle Manna with such secular treats. 

Not only will these sacred, wheat-based squares make high-dollar checks (not cash, mind you) instantly come your way, they will also set your Bible on fire. They're just that tasty.

Imagine the delicious snack-time payoff if the pope would only bless Velveeta.