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Evan Rachel Wood, Alexander Skarsgard

Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images; Jason LeVeris/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Perez just had a story up that Alexander Skarsgard was seen in Shreveport, La., where he's filming a movie, with Evan Rachel Wood and that the two have been dating since they met on the set of True Blood. Say it ain't so!

Dear Match Made in Hell:
Team Awful is gagging as much as you are. We love our A.S. untainted—so not feeling this pairing. The term dating is used so loosely now, but yes, we hear something is "going on" between the two. Nothing like Robsten, though. 

Dear Ted:
If you had watched the video of the person who called Kristen a bitch, you would have seen she did after they had already entered the car and were driving off. What's Rob suppose to do at that point, jump out the window? Is the photo op that Summit put on what you are referring to when you say Kristen hung out with Nikki Reed and Paris Latsis? Did you notice at the end they parted ways and Kristen was walking alone? It would not surprise me if Kristen did the photo op so she could have 24-hour leave to go to the concert with Rob, per Summit.

Dear Keeping Up With Robsten:
What, you don't want to see Rob defend his gal's honor? Where there's an amorous will, there's always a way.

Dear Ted:
Why do people refer to Reese Witherspoon as the "beard"?

Dear Cover-Up:
Sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.

Dear Ted:
On Aug. 28, Toothy Tile was said to have been Nikki Reed...Just wondering why people are still trying to guess who it is?!

Dear Transgender:
Even we're not cruel enough to call Nikki a man. Physiologically speaking, it's impossible for her to be Toothy. Unless you know something we don't?

Dear Ted:
The Internet blew up over the weekend, and the world is coming to an end because Alexander Skarsgård is dating (a) Willa Holland (b) Evan Rachel Wood or (c) someone who is not me! Please confirm whether Alexander is dating (a) or (b). Unfortunately, I can confirm (c) all by myself.

Dear Skars Sweet:
Good news! Eventually he will get around to you, too! He's not being very discriminate, thank heaven.

Dear Ted:
You are the one source I check everyday to get my Robsten fix! In the most recent Rob pics that I've seen, he looks so much happier than when he was in NYC filming Remember Me. Don't you agree? Keep up the juicy Robsten info, and I can't wait to hear more Eclipse deets!

Dear Snap Happy:
Uh, duh! And yes, R.Pattz is much, much happier, even with Nikki Reed in such close proximity. Wonder why?

Dear Ted:
I've been reading your blolum since Toothy was a virgin, but I've never asked a Q before now. So, to make up for it I have three: 1. You have said that Toothy has a beard, so does she know she is a beard? 2. Has she ever been a beard for another guy before? 3. Do you think Toothy will marry this beard? Thanks for the bitching!

Dear Genie Ted:
Yes, Toothy's beard knows what she is. And yes, she's familiar with men who play for both teams. And yes, I could see Toothy selling out and marrying the beard. For Baby Tile's sake.

Dear Ted:
Why are you so easy on Dashed Dingle-Dream (comparing to Judas Jack-Off) when it's becoming apparent that he's the one on a "bearding mission" nowadays and has been using this disgusting system for a longer time than his partner in crime?

Dear Hairy Situation:
I'm not easy on either—just think how Judas acted was so rude that I sympathize more with Dashed. DDD's current behavior was set in motion by Jack-Off's jerk ways.

Dear Ted:
Stephen Moyer is with Anna Paquin; supposedly Alex Skarsgård is with Evan Rachel Wood. Sam Trammell did a dating women segment on Extra (although he did use the phrase person), and you've said Ryan Kwanten is into the ladies. Is True Blood the straightest Hollywood cast out there, or is there something I'm missing?
—True Blood Addict

Dear Straight and Narrow:
Why do you think all of them are so down for naked scenes? They can't get enough of each other!

Dear Ted:
Don't you think it seems a little copycatish that there's a show called Vampire Diaries? The girl is brunette like Twilight Bella's, too. The guy is pale and a vampire, and he's in love with the girl. If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would totally sue them. True Blood is like Twilight but so much different. Why would you want to copy the beloved when you know it's never going to top True Blood and Twilight, and you know its going to suck?

Dear Vampire Clones:
If I'm not mistaken, The Vampire Diaries and the book series True Blood was based off of both came before Twilight. What say Stephenie Meyer right now, huh? We don't care though, bring on the horny vamps—more the better!

Dear Ted:
What do you think of George Clooney's new gal-pal? He's stepped out with her way sooner than he has with a bevy of his exes. It's eerie how closely she resembles the last forgettable waitress. She's no Vegas snooze, but she certainly doesn't seem to be the brightest crayon in the box, either. What say you, oh wise one?

Dear Clooney Conspiracy:
This brunette is no different than any of the other gals G.C. passes his time with. They'll have fun for a while—but it won't last. Not. For. A. Second.

Dear Ted:
I recently read Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens celebrated their four-year anniversary as a couple. That's a long time for pair so young. Are they as in love as they seem, because I can't imagine either's acting ability is that good? What the deal with these two?

Dear Young Love:
I don't think V.Hudge is the one for Zefron. The relaysh seems more out of some C-word (Convenience? Commercialism?) than love.

Dear Ted:
There are only 11 comments on the Bitch-Back with LeAnn and Eddie, and I already know that with that one answer you gave regarding Twyla Babe-Sucker's problems not really being over you have started a massive disturbance. Now everyone will say Twyla can't be Kristen, and everyone will think she is TTT and bisexual. As if this girl (and I mean girl) needs any more s—t right now. I love you, Ted, but you were so wrong this time. So wrong. Wait until you see the boards explode. They are waiting to destroy her.

Dear Ticking Twyla:
I hardly think the Bitch-back was a giveaway either way. You sound as cranky-certain as Reese Witherspoon is with her damn whip, already.

Dear Ted:
I just saw a couple of pics of Leo D., and it hit me that he might not be as man-man as he claims to be. I don't get that manly vibe you usually get from any real man, good-looking or not. What do you think of this? Has he been in any Blind Vices?

Dear Wrongdar:
What's the definition a real man, anyway? Am I a fake one? Something I don't like about your question. But if you're asking if Leo's historically tried to pull one over his fans, uh, yes, at times he sure has.

Dear Ted:
Who are the new, upcoming actors and actresses we should be looking out for? We need to watch out for this whole new generation of actors because all these newbies in Hollywood are fantastic, and there have to be more to come, right?

Dear One Eye Open:
Like we've said, we have a good feeling about Twilight virgin Xavier Samuel. As for the gals, how 'bout Transformers hottie Isabel Lucas? Yum!

Dear Ted:
Do you think Austin Nichols is merely a cover-up for Sophia Bush and Robert Buckley and Robert a cover-up for Sophia's ex James Lafferty's new romance with the new girl Shantel VanSanten, who apparently has quite a rumor?

Dear One Tree What?
You lost me there. But I can assure you OTH has one creatively commingling cast.

Dear Ted:
Can we talk about how tired I am of journalists using old interviews to tie in the Robsten connection? Having just read the French Times interview with Kristen Stewart, [the reporter] references a previous interview from when she was with Michael Angarano, making it seem like K.Stew is making some new declaration about R.Pattz. I am just over it. I hoped someone else would share such an annoyance!

Dear Shared:
Uh, us too sweetheart. The Twilight cast is the new In crowd in Hollywood, so everyone is trying to get a piece of the action—no matter how dated, wrong or annoying it may be. And it's only begun.