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Travis Barker, Demi Moore, Michelle Duggar, Macaulay Culkin

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images; Dimitrious Kambouris/Getty Images; TLC, Getty Images

We were going to highlight 19 big stories this week, one for every Duggar child, including the one in the oven. But then we decided to stop being cute... and start getting real.

So here's your Week in Review in 10 or so easy pieces, courtesy of some pretty odd characters (and we don't just mean our fellow staffers)...

1. Michael Jackson joined a litany of Hollywood's all-time finest when he was at last interred in a crypt at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale on Thursday night. About 200 people, including some of MJ's very famous friends, turned out for the orchestrated-to-a-tee proceedings, which started an hour and a half late. Well, you try getting a 26-car motorcade through rush-hour traffic on time.

2. So how about that Duggar family? The stars of TLC's next ratings winner, 18 Kids and Counting, announced that they have caved to the pressure that the title of their show implies and have conceived a 19th child. Hey, more power to 'em. Literally. That's a lot of bodies. But at least in case of apocaplyse, the Duggars can join forces with the Gosselins to repopulate the Earth. Perk No. 2: We won't be around to see it.

3. Speaking of the apocalypse: Chris Brown sure picked an interesting time to not pay homage to Oprah. The manboy didn't win many points with his humdrum Larry King Live interview—his lack of eloquence was actually kind of shocking. And just when he needs to be lying low and, as he said, acting like a role model... Oh well, the daytime diva brushed off his critique of her programming taste like so much lint, but you can be sure she won't be giving Brown the Jay-Z treatment anytime son.

New Moon, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

Summit Entertainment

4. Before you have a total Eclipse of the heart, the Awful Truth wants you to remember: Rob and Kristen are so in love (but not engaged). Well, lots of the evidence is purely instinctual, but the AT hears that Robsten's studio-sent protectors just want to ensure the costars' on-set security and off-set privacy. So they can continue to do whatever it is we hope they're doing.

5. The week before last belonged to Kate, but Jon Gosselin got to wear the tabloid pants (and a dress) over the past seven days as he partied not-too-hard in Vegas, set a few things straightish on Good Morning America, skipped Atlantic City and, most importantly, joined Twitter! He has mainly used it so far to talk about his mom and kids—which, actually, is a relief.

6. Cate Blanchett's beautiful noggin was bloodied by an errant prop toss while she was playing Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire in Sydney. She's fine, but the Answer Bitch decided to take a look at some of the other unfortunate (of varying degrees) on-set accidents in history—and what she found ain't pretty.

Perez Hilton,Demi Moore

Steve Granitz/Getty Images; Angela Weiss/Getty Image

6. Star-mama drama: OK, we've got Demi Moore and Perez Hilton duking it out like Ali and Frazier (albeit entirely via Twitter) over some insulting comments Perez made about middle Willis daughter Tallulah. On behalf of people everywhere who hate child porn, Demi and her remarkably smooth visage bit back, hard. She'll have a lot to talk about during the dream-brunch in our heads this weekend with Whitney Houston and Madonna, whose very name connotes the mystical mother, giver of life and beauty. Well, she's pretty mystifying, alright.

7. Awful Truth guest blogger Khloe Kardashian's got to be pretty happy the Lakers didn't lose Lamar Odom to free agency. Then again, it actually wouldn't have been so bad if Miami got him. The sunny celeb destination already has Khloé and Kourtney part-time...

8. Unlike some, DJ AM was buried promptly, and then two days later a legion of fans and friends, including Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Robert Downey Jr., paid more respects at a 12-step-meeting-style memorial—which, as the theme of the evening implied, was a very private affair. (So it's a good thing the Rev. Al Sharpton wasn't there.) Meanwhile, authorities haven't ruled out the possibility that AM killed himself. Either way, it appears as if the famed deejay was in a lot of pain...

9. Huh...People still really care about what Katherine Heigl's doing on Grey's Anatomywhich does look enticing this season, doesn't it?

10. Around the E! world in 60 seconds: Do you like body parts?...Who's Dancing With the Stars?...SNL got talent...America's got finalists...Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel have a son...Keanu Reeves is pretty sure he doesn't...Levi Johnston wrote for Vanity Fair...Carrie Prejean sued...Diane Sawyer is ascending...LeAnn Rimes is divorcing...Megan Fox could be cuckoo...Will.i.am is ready for some football...Avril Lavigne punked up Idol...David Boreanaz has child No. 2...Mad Men will have a fourth season...We're getting another Rambo...Disney bought Marvel and all its superhero powers...Susan Boyle has a release date...Renée Zellweger is fine after a car crash...The View ladies finally unseated Ellen at the Daytime Emmys.

P.S. Best of Summer gallery, people! Kick back and vote for your faves from TV, movies, hot bods, juicy scandals, etc.

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Every week there's something new to look at in the Big Picture gallery!