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Kate Gosselin, Jon Gosselin


Ted Casablanca is traveling this week and mail is being tackled by Team Awful—so try us!

Dear Awful Truth:
I am so tired of Jon and Kate Gosselin stories. I am disgusted by watching and looking at magazines that have their pictures. I do not think they deserve the satisfaction of being in the public eye. They are very stupid people who had a lot of children. The innocent children are being exposed and the media is allowing it. When is this Jon and Kate thing going to stop? This is getting old!

Dear Ebb and Flow:
Remember when all anyone could talk about was Octomom? And before that, the Pregnant Man? This summer's been all about Gosselin goss, but rest assured that something just as unsettling will pop up in pop-culture that will be super annoying and seemingly endless. Doesn't that make you feel better?

Dear Awful Truth:
Do you know if Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream's beards know what's going on between the two bromancers? And which one is hotter in your opinion: Jackles or Judas and D3?

Dear Hot and Bothered:
Doesn't every bearded lady have at least an inkling of knowledge what's really going on with her partner? Some just choose to ignore it. And those two duos exude just about the same degree of heat!

Dear Awful Truth:
Please don't take offense to this, but are any of the BV's made up or fiction or are they 100 percent true? Just asking, and do you think any of the gay blind items will ever come out? It must be a huge task keeping secrets for so long in the public eye. PS: more gay BV's, please; the straight ones are boring, there isn't much intrigue there.

Dear Gay Quota:
We couldn't make up some of this crap even if we tried. What's the point in writing fiction anyway, when there are so many true tales in H'wood's underbelly? And methinks most of our closeted BV's will never come out on their own terms—which isn't to say some lucky paparazzi won't get the money shot and spill it for them someday.

Dear Awful Truth:
Love your column, been reading you for years... always a lurker, never a poster, but I think I've figured out a blind vice. Fruzzy Tuna-Stench is Russell Brand. Come on, gotta be him, right?

Dear What's That Smell:
Fruzzy is American, sweetie.

Dear Awful Truth:
I am still miffed by Nikki Reed's behavior from an event a few weeks ago. Remember the Dane Cook/Vanessa Hudgens brouhaha? Well, Dane proved unfunny and insensitive, while Vanessa should stop with the photos. But most appalling was when the camera cut to Vanessa's mortified face and you could see Nikki Reed, Vanessa's supposedly new BFF, laughing hysterically at her friend's embarrassment. How rude, wrong, and quite frankly, revealing. I have never really given Vanessa or Nikki too much thought, but am I the only person who noticed Nikki's glee at Vanessa's misfortune? Did Vanessa wise up to her new company? And is Nikki just a mean girl?
—Bring Back The Sensitivity

Dear Reed Wrongdoing:
We saw it, too; we just weren't very shocked. Even if Van's wised up, she's kinda stuck with hanging with the Twi crew—all of 'em—since the whole lot of tween stars are up in V-town together filming projects.

Dear Awful Truth:
What is everyone's problem with Jennifer Aniston? I just don't get the reason for all the vitriol. She seems nice and not out to hurt anybody. She doesn't drunkenly fall out of cars sans undergarments and her worse sin seems to be a strict exercise routine. Hello, this is Hollywood. They all work out. And it is Jennifer who was left by her super famous ex for another woman. Yet, Angelina Jolie is still worshiped in many circles. Imagine if the roles were reversed and Brad had left Angelina for Jennifer? I still think that Jennifer would be the one blamed in that, too. So unfair. What's the deal?

Dear Jen Defender:
Jen's stayed more or less classy—tho PDA-ing in a bikini with John Mayer seemed like mid-life crisis behavior. But no one likes a whiner, or someone who can't learn from her mistakes (picking bad men and bad movies). Jen is guilty of both.

Dear Awful Truth:
Ted, hope you're having a great vacation! You are definitely missed, but the Awful Truth team rose to the occasion in your absence. Now, for my question... Alexander Skarsgard is kind of mysterious, non? He's a hot Viking man, which is a nice break from some of the tabloids' younger featured stars. But what is Alexander's deal? Does he hook up (romantically) with any Hollywood types? Doesn't he date? And please clear up the Evan Rachel Wood rumors! You must know something. Do share!

Dear Nordic Nosy:
Though ERW certainly likes older men, the babe's currently smooching with Shane West. And Alex has successfully managed to keep himself an enigma… and we kinda like it that way! I'm gonna hate the day I find out he's hooking up with Paris Hilton and all respect for him is lost.

Dear Awful Truth:
I know this is beating a dead horse, but Nicole Kidman was a gorgeous woman. But, after Moulin Rouge, she never looked like herself again. Why did/does Hollywood keep casting her in such great roles? Is everyone blind? Naomi Watts, on the other hand, she is beautiful, talented and natural. What is the deal?

Dear Nicole's No Noami:
NK's still a name, and she still can act (even if she needs a little technological help emoting). As excited as we are for Nic to strut her musical stuff again in Nine this winter, what is the last great role Kidman nabbed? Australia? The Invasion? Bewitched? You call this Oscar fare? I sure don't.

Dear Awful Truth:
I love your Twilight Blind Vices. They are very amusing. Is Terry Tush Trade Catherine Hardwicke?
—Another Twilight Fan

Dear Director Doings:
I love you thinking outside the box and picking a non-actor! But wrong guess all the same, sorry.

Dear Awful Truth:

I think I get what is the big deal with the love triangle Sophia Bush/Austin Nichols/Robert Buckley. It is not Sophia/Austin vs Sophia/Robert, but Sophin vs Robsten. Is Austin Nichols Nevis Divine?

Dear Divine Intervention:
Austin's not Nevis—he wishes he were as popular in the mainstream as ND! Must be what he's hoping for by clinging on his co-stars for some press.

Dear Awful Truth:
Do you think Toothy Tile has an interest in all of the current One Tree Hill gossip?

Dear Tree Hugger:
Who doesn't nowadays? Didn't you see one of our last Hill-obsessed Bitch-Back's

Dear Awful Truth:
Let's be honest here, the Awful Truth is pretty cuckoo-bananas when it comes to the Twilight kids and vampires in general. So I pose this question to all the crew: Who would you rather kidnap to keep for your selfish selves and go all Kathy Bates in Misery on: RPattz or Swedish Meatballs (a.k.a. Alexander Skarsgard)? I would personally go for the Ikea-Man, but I would never dare to break his leg! Probably R.Pattz for fun though.
—Cuckoo Bananas Janny

Dear Vamp vs. Vamp:
Ooh, what a fun q! Personally, before True Blood "glamoured" me, I would have gone for RPattz in a heartbeat, but Alexander is just too naughty to pass up. Taryn's on Team Eric, too, and Marc's more of a Kristen Stewart/Anna Paquin fan. But Ted's top pick is Rob, hands down.

Dear Awful Truth:
Give us another hint about Princess Powder-Puff. Does she have a current single on the charts?

Dear Royalty Wondering:
Yes. Does that narrow it down one bit? Probably not.

Dear Awful Truth,
Will you please tell Ted I miss him!

Dear You:
He knows you do! He'll be back, refreshed and ready to goss soon enough!

Dear Awful Truth:
I love Ted. It's too bad he doesn't swing my way. So effing sexy! Love the bloopers from today. Also, love your animal love and support. I have a zoo myself at my house. I do actually have a question. Has Ashton Kutcher ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear Aplusk Asking:
Yes, indeed, he has. Can ya believe Ash stays off Twitter long enough to actually do something worth dishing about?

Dear Awful Truth:
AnnaLynne McCord is really beautiful. Can she act at all? I don't watch the new 90210, I was in high school for the original, sorry kids!

Dear McCord Method:
Is AnnaLynne the best at playing bitchy and hot? Definitely. Is she gonna play Lady Ophelia in Hamlet anytime soon? Not on your life. She's like the Megan Fox of the boob tube. As long as she's scorching hot and has some sass, she's a-OK with us. We'll change our tune in 20 years if she's still playing the same schtick.