Kari Ann Peniche is not a Hollywood madam. She just plays one in a nude tape writes about them for school papers.
Offering up a strong entry in the annals of so-weird-they-must-be-true (right?) excuses, the clothes-eschewing swimwear designer has shut down speculation—spurred on by both her performance in the Eric Dane sex tape that wasn't as well as documented evidence from the Los Angeles Police Department—that she's experienced in the ways of call girl wrangling.
Instead, Peniche says the reason why her confiscated hard drive contains images of reputed madams is because she once wrote a college paper on the topic of prostitution.
It was an assignment she adamantly claims never turned extracurricular.
"I did a paper when I was at UCLA on prostitution in my Sociology of Love class and most likely that's probably the stuff that I pulled from the internet that's on there," she explained.
Which is not to say that she isn't open about her carnal cravings, admitting that she entered Celebrity Rehab to treat an often misunderstood sex addiction.
"Sex addiction doesn't mean I go around and have sex with everybody," she said, adding that it was more about "the feeling that you would get afterward."
Not that she got it after her unfortunately taped encounter with Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. Peniche maintains that her relationship with the couple never crossed beyond platonic chattin' and chillin'. Platonic chattin' and chillin' in the buff, that is.
As for what next's for the infamous 25-year-old, she tells E! News her first priority is make sure her family's name remains mud-free.
"My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'"
Still, Peniche isn't going to let one overblown media scandal define her. At least, not for too much longer.
"I'm not going to let something that was, what, an hour of my life, a year of my life, affect me forever."
Check out the best worst of Eric Dane's cringeworthy pickup lines from the tape and tune in to the second part of E! News' exclusive interview with Kari Ann Peniche tonight at 7 & 11:30 p.m.