What's Got the Desperate Housewives in Shock?

Tight-lipped dish over on Wisteria Lane makes us wonder, what’s going on this time?

The latest scoop from those prudeass suits over at Desperate Housewives comes right on the heels of our story about über-conservative smoking habits over on the Wisteria Lane. So what's today's goss?

Turns out one of our favorite Housewives—who has always been the most normal on the Lane, although that's not saying much—is considering something that's causing ABC to majorly freak out, as said deed is supposedly way too risqué for the show.

What is this, the Dark Ages? They've had suicides, serial killers, underage sex and bitches getting electrocuted—what topic could be so damn scandalous?

Maybe...abortion?

Felicity Huffman's character Lynette is considering whether to tackle the biggie debate, piggybacking onto last season's cliffhanger in which the Scavos find themselves with two more little ones on the way (to join the four plus one they've already survived). Our Desp source tells us that Lynette is "seriously considering it," but kept mum on the details about how the taboo topic would be handled.

But word on Wisteria Lane is that network execs aren't allowing Marc Cherry & Co. to even mention the word abortion during any of it. Similar to its aversion to showing cigarettes onscreen, ABC is getting totally paranoid and forbidding any name-drop during the scenes in which Lynette and Tom have the major discussion. Jeez, and we thought Bree was the only thing that was still stuck in the '50s?

OK, so it's no light-hearted topic, but do they think Americans are so easily offended that dropping the word abortion—during a scene about the topic, no less—is going to blow their minds? When will these prude basic cable nets learn?

They're losing the race to shows like Nip/Tuck, Gossip Girl and True Blood, and all because they've got their women acting like friggin' nuns! We know Desperate isn't the most youth-oriented show, but when the plastic teenagers over at Melrose Place are upstaging your buzz, you know something's gotta give.

Come on, ABC, get Teri, Marcia, Eva and the rest of the cast out of the damn convent already! Trust us, we can handle it!