Hugh Jackman

INCO/Fame Pictures

Dear Ted:
Hugh Jackman spends a lot of time telling interviewers (some of whom haven't even asked) how happily married is. What do you make of that?

Dear Happy Feet:
Hugh's not lying—his marriage is working out just fine for what he wants out of it.

Dear Ted:
I love your Robsten news, but I also have some mad love for Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene. Ashley has admitted she crushes on Jackson three different times already. I was lucky enough to go to the Dallas Twicon, and when someone asked Jackson what attracted him to the role of Jasper, he answered "Ashley Greene." Adorable, right? But then the whole Chace Crawford thing happened, which made me sad and lose hope. I have a feeling I'm not the only one. Any scoop on their status right now?

Dear Going Greene:
Ashley knows she's a wanted broad, and she's playing the field, which we totally support! That C2 smooch is just a fling. And don't hold out on Rathgreene being the new Robsten; their comments are way too public (and cutesy) to be taken seriously.

Dear Ted:
Have you seen that interview you guys did with Ryan Reynolds, Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart for Adventureland? Ryan said, I think, that within the next year Kristen Stewart is going to make it with Robert Pattinson...Couldn't that mean Ryan let the cat out of the bag a long time ago?

Dear Big Mouth:
Totally a d-bag move if that's what Ryan said, considering he doesn't speak a word about his own relationship. And are sure he said this, anyway? Where's the interview?

Dear Ted:
Something's changed in the A.T. Been readin' you for a while. Find you to be a bit more vicious than before. Especially with Brangelina, and a li'l obsessive, i.e., Robsten. Shake things up a bit, girl, let's get back to the fun?

Dear Buzz Kill:
We're still havin' tons of fun, sorry if you're missing out. How vicious can we be toward Brangelina if we defended Angie's honor and gave Brad's new flick and his dedication to gay rights a big ol' thumbs-up?

Dear Ted:
I loved your McGosling post! I love the original Robsten almost as much as I love the real Robsten and that says a lot! So, do you have anything good on either? Or both?

Dear Insatiable:
We have good goss on Robsten every damn day! As for McGosling, their future's more up in the air, but we can hope for the best that those two babes find their way back to each other eventually. Even if it's just onscreen for another Notebook-type romance.

Dear Ted:
Do you think we need a word describing when fans interpret the story behind a picture? Is there a word already? I'm thinking about what all the Robsten fans say when we see a new pic or video.
—Tumblin' Di

Dear Addictionary Addict:
How about obsessalize? Can you think of one better?

Dear Ted:
When are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel going to break up already?

Dear Britney Spears:
Be patient! 

Dear Ted:
How much would you love to see Sean Penn and Angelina together? For whatever reason, they both strike me as two psychos whose relationship would be karmic retribution in itself. C'mon, tell me that wouldn't be more drama than Brangelina?

Dear Mismatched:
Angelina with Penn? Please, we have more respect for Angie than that (if you can believe it). Plus, she's totally calmed down her crazyass behavior since being a mom six times over—maybe back in her blood vial days they woulda been a perf Sid and Nancy acting pair, but not now.

Dear Ted:
What do you hear these days about everyone's favorite Texan first couple (not), the Bushes? Separate houses with his and her bars?
—Just curious

Dear Bushwacker:
Separate everything, babe. Like always. Ain't marriage grand?

Dear Ted:
Nevis Divine is such a pain. No other B.V. seemed so hard to figure out (and even if our final guess in some other B.V. is actually wrong, we don't think it is, so it gives us some closure and peace of mind, hehe). But anyway, now I think I finally saw the light at the end of the long, long tunnel. Yes, I have the audacity of thinking I know who Nevis is! So please tell me, Ted: Has Nevis ever worked with Meryl Streep?
—B.V. Addict

Dear Streep Throat:
No, but we're sure he'd love to!

Dear Ted:
Not to be negative, but Bryce Dallas Howard looks very heavy! Nothing against her, but I think this new director may be an ass and a complete disaster for the Twilight saga. Crazy as she might be, Catherine Hardwicke, if given funds and the newfound necessary support from Summit, might have been the best choice to continue on with these movies. She really brought forth the nuances that made the Twilight books so successful. Any thoughts on this?

Dear Bryce Bash:
I think you're being not only negative, but rude regarding Bryce's bod. She's totally healthy, and damn hot, and if a bigger gal is all you need to consider a flick a "disaster," you're only helping H'wood starlets freak out that they need to be sticks to be liked.

Dear Ted:
Too much Taylor Lautner in New Moon? Not for me, he's cute and adorable. New Moon looks way better than Twilight, which sucked! A vampire movie with no fangs or homoerotic subtext, what is the point? The charm and charisma of the cast was its only redeeming feature. Let's hope the wolves have a little more bite.

Dear Excuse Me?
The letter above you is bashing New Moon, and now you're criticizing Twilight? Why do you guys bother obsessing over the flicks at all if you hate 'em so much?

Dear Ted:
What are the chances Fruzzy T.S. is John Mayer?

Dear Zero Percent:
Wrong Blind Vice, deary.  Think far less-talented, too.

Dear Ted:
Why is everyone attacking Hailey Glassman? For underage drinking while in college? Uh, find me an underage college student who doesn't! And pot? Find me a college student who has never tried it! And since when is sitting on a friend's lap a sign of being bisexual or a lesbian? Hate to break it to all the haters, but she was merely a typical college student. What is college without a little experimentation? If these actions make her an out of control party girl, then every single college student is an out of control partyer.

Dear Hatin' Hailey:
Not every college girl voluntarily signs up to date an über-gross, not-yet-divorced reality-TV star with eight kids to care for. And just so ya know, just 'cause it's typical for underage kids to drink and do drugs, doesn't make it legal.

Dear Ted:
So now there are reports that Sophia Bush is dating Austin Nichols. Did that girl ever meet a costar she didn't like? When she goes through all of her male costars, will she start going through the female ones?

Dear Sophia's Choice:
Don't count on S.B. walkin' down the aisle with Austin like she did her first hubby/costar, Chad Michael Murray. But you can bet they'll milk the attention for a while!

Dear Ted:
We've had our disagreements in the past, but I am still a big fan—especially of your support of adopting rescue animals. All of the wonderful pets I've had over the years have come from rescue shelters. But I need to ask: If you knew that revealing a B.V. would irreparably damage someone's career, would you still write it? I actually feel sorry for many who have become B.V.s for their sexual preferences. I just wish we could allow everyone to be happy being who they are. Sex is sex. Why does it have to be a big deal?

Dear Rep Ruiner:
If somebody's done something so bad it would destroy their career, they can blame themselves for doing it in the first place. Not talkin' sexual persuasions, either, I mean horrible, terrible, illegal things. Believe me, E!'s legal team is the only thing stopping me from full-on naming some particularly hideous Blind Vices.

Dear Ted:
Oh wise and sagacious gossip leader: I used to be a big fan of Kate Hudson, back in the day when she was a cute, up-and-coming actress brimming with personality. These days, however, she seems to care less about her career, family or anything other than just hooking up with lots of random man-whores. Has she ever been a Blind Vice? I hope for her kid's sake that she's not.

Dear Kate Rate:
Nope, never. Bit too predictable in the bed hopping, babe. Our vices are far stealthier!

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