Jeff Vespa/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
Every so often, Brad Pitt appears on the red carpet with a scarf or some other accessory around his neck. Is this accessorizing purely for fashion reasons, or is his sex life with Angelina leaving him with visible signs of their passion?
—DaringMiss
Dear Inglourious Hickeys:
Well, given that Brad and Angie are spilling the secrets about their supposedly fabulous sex life, you would think that. But we all know that Jolie-Pitt Island is in the midst of a tropical storm right now, duh. Them scarves ain't fooling anyone, Pitt baby!
Dear Ted:
Do you have any info on Desperate Housewives' Drea de Matteo? I heard some weeks ago that she was going to be a troublemaking vixen, and have an Edie-like personality, but the newest spoilers suggest she's nothing like Edie, and is in fact sweet and kind, but her son is the troublemaker. What do you know about her character? Do you know if she will indeed be a bitch?
—Andres
Dear New Bitch on the Block:
You heard right, love. As I blabbed last week, Drea's son (played with fresh-faced adorableness by Beau Mirchoff) will be the real coffee-brewer on the Lane. As for Drea's character, Angie, remember: Even if she isn't the troublemaker, this is still Desperate Housewives, and who isn't a bitch?
Dear Ted:
As we all know by now, Kristen and Rob are definitely and firmly together. In your opinion, what is keeping them somewhat in hiding? Is it the insane media pressure that will certainly only get crazier with their outing themselves, or is it Summit wanting them to keep quiet? In my opinion, wouldn't them being together only make for more interest in the movie? I loved Twilight before Robsten and love it more now! Secondly, knowing that Rob and Kristen are somewhat private people, do you think they ever regret getting involved with the Twilight phenomenon?
—Chad
Dear Yawn:
Sweet pea, I feel like I've answered this question at least a dozen times by now. Rob and Kris are under the harsh rule of big bad Summit, and aptly so: If they broke up before the movies ended, there goes the franchise. And please...privacy aside, these two are the luckiest youngsters in the world right now. They should be so happy to be involved with everything Twi.
Dear Ted:
Is there any drama offscreen happening on the set of Mischa Barton's new show The Beautiful Life? Also, any cast hookups yet?
—The Gossip Fan
Dear Miss Ya, Mischa:
We overheard costar Sarah Paxton at the red carpet premiere for Spread, and she swore that there was nothing funny going on behind the scenes. But of course she's gonna say that, right? We already know that one castmember was axed after two episodes, and given the rest of the young (and subsequently scandal-prone) cast, there's bound to be some major dish going on in due time.
Dear Ted:
Has Antonio Banderas ever been a B.V.? Was it recent? There have got to be some stories that go with that hot dude! Curiosity killed the cat, but he died satisfied.
—Jednorris
Dear Blind Banderas:
Yes, as well as darling items, too—like the one where his wife liked his equipment so much she had a statue made of it. Think K.Stew's gonna be doin' that, too?
Dear Ted:
I wish I could be paid big bucks to sit around and make up s--t all day, but unfortunately I have a job. Oh well, whatever floats your boat! This is the first and last time I'll ever be on this site!
—Biteme
Dear Jen:
Seriously, your fights with Ben continue to put you in the foulest moods.
Dear Ted:
I know Catherine Hardwicke is done with Twilight, but do you think she is getting Summit's s--t storm for opening her mouth about Robsten?
—L.A.
Dear Concern for Cathy:
You already know that Summit thinks Cath is "bats--t crazy," but Summit would be wrong to discipline her. If Hardwicke was scolded by Summit suits, the first thing she would do is laugh her head off before going off to open her mouth even more, 'cause that's just how our crazy-as-crackers honey rolls! We love it!
Dear Ted:
You are "mature enough" to know what the M-M equivalent of a cougar was...are you a chicken hawk? Or just a Twi tard? Granted, the Twilight franchise is the top in the teen set...you are far from it. A new Twilight tab should be added to E! Online, so those who do not care can read our favorite columnists without having to skip 90 percent of the posts. Congrats on adopting a rescue. Both of my girls are rescues, and hopefully my "foster" gets adopted this weekend.
—Mschulz
Dear Twi-tter:
Methinks there was a compliment in there somewhere.
Dear Ted:
You're so f--king cute and hot. Love your smile and your beautiful brain. Do you have a website with your own gallery? Does anyone? How about your own reality show with Jon and pets? Can't get enough of you, beefcake.
—Kelly
Dear Catsablanca:
Darling, you're too kind. But Jon's a serious actor, something, you know, TV's full of these days.
Dear Ted:
Has any member of the Lost cast ever been a Blind Vice? Love the blolumn and all the Twi juice!
—Hill
Dear If They Were It'd Be Monaghan:
No.
Dear Ted:
I know we all love R.Pattz right now, but have you ever considered the beautiful Matthew Macfadyen? Another British hottie! I think he is the only man who gives our beloved R.Pattz some competition! I like to think R.Pattz is a younger version of MatMac.
—Lduong
Dear Mr. Darcy:
One of our A.T. darlings, Marc Snetiker, is going to be living in London this fall, and he'll make sure to do some investigating on your behalf, trust. There's a whole world of untapped British bods that we're just dying to uncover here in the States!
Dear Ted:
You are always dissing Brangelina. How about some gossip on TomKat? The latest set of pictures surely should elicit some type of analysis—like all is not well in Cruiseland?
—Castle
Dear T.C., Phone Home:
New pics don't really show anything abnormal, I think. But I will tell you this: Suri Cruise is going to be having Tori's Stella not even understanding the word nepotism.
Dear Ted:
I believe your friend Nevis Divine has to be Keanu Reeves. And Toothy Tile is Jamie Foxx.
—Pearl Mae
Dear Duuuuude:
Close, but no B.V. cigar, dollface. Nevis has a wee bit more personality than Keanu (or at least post-Bill & Ted Keanu). And Toothy is not the Foxx, although Jamie has been a B.V. of his very own of just-as-delicious variety.
Dear Ted:
I just wanted to thank you for not rushing to put stories out all of the time. It seems that you would rather get more information and the facts straight than to just push garbage out onto your site, unlike many, many others. You are über-fabulous, and I adore you and the message you try to send to people regarding important issues like equal rights and animal shelters. It is great to see somebody use their platform wisely, and you, sir, have done that. Thanks again.
—A.A.
Dear Aw, Shucks:
Thanks, boo. We don't regurgitate the same old celeb info that everyone else madly steals from each other—no names needed here. It's pretty obvious who the unoriginals are.
Dear Ted:
Thank you for being a hilarious window into the celebrity world. In an uncertain world, you never fail to entertain and inform. My question is this: How can I nominate Ryan Kwanten for most accurate accent by a non-Southerner ever? That hottie needs a gold-plated MoonPi
—Southbound
Dear Kwanten Physics:
Girl, who's listening to his accent!? When Ryan's on the screen, you should be directing all body power to your eyes, not your ears.
Dear Ted:
I somewhat find it hilarious that people would even think that Megan Fox could replace Kristen in Breaking Dawn. Yes, Kristen is awkward, but so is Bella, and there is a reason Kristen was picked to play that role. I don't know if anyone has seen the latest Transformers movie, but I'm pretty sure that Breaking Dawn requires a little bit more "acting," and I am using that word loosely. And a little side note: Bella is transformed into a beautiful, gorgeous, stunning woman, not into a sex symbol, unlike someone who is one dimensional.
—Faye
Dear Foxy Lady:
Agree, kinda. Meg could definitely pull off the gorgeous aspect of the vamp Bella role, but not so much the matching of Kristen's human Bella personality. Megan Fox = chameleon? Yeah, not so much.
Dear Ted:
Is Joe Jonas gay? I'm having difficulty believing he's not, especially after he dressed up in Spandex and high heels.
—Supergirl
Dear F.A.G.O.L.A.:
Can't say about Joe. But if one Jonas was to come out, it would be a safe bet to put your money on the eldest and prettiest.
Dear Ted:
With all the animal posts lately, I'm curious about your stance on PETA? I know you're a big advocate of no-kill shelters and PETA operates shelters that euthanize animals they claim can't be adopted. I would love to hear your thoughts! I became the proud mommy of two rescued cats two years ago, and I can't even imagine how I lived without them before!
—Tracy
Dear PETA Pocket:
PETA has its moments where it truly shines as a paragon for animal treatment, and then there are the times when it hurts the cause more than helps it. But alas, I do the same, at times.
Dear Ted:
When the heck were you on Roseanne?
—Pumpkingrrl
Dear Not Sure:
Damn, need to get my IMDb entry updated; half the stuff I've done isn't even on that, including Roseanne's show. And I don't dare check Wikipedia, 'cause those hideous girls will say I did the show back when I was in my 50s.
Dear Ted:
What's going on with Terry Tush-Trade? You haven't given us anything on him/her for a long time. So what's up? Or do you think it's time to let us now who he/she is?
—Where's TTT?
Dear Rough Terry-ain:
Trust, the only thing TTT hasn't done lately is reveal who he/she is.
Dear Ted:
I have been wondering something for a while, and I know this might be old news, but was Britney Spears really drugged by the a-holes who were surrounding her (not her family, the other ones)? It seems a bit far-fetched, but I am guessing with her life, nothing is out of the ordinary.
—Cweasel
Dear Bubbly Britney:
Brit-Brit didn't ask to be thrown a surprise birthday party, but that doesn't mean she didn't want the presents.
Dear Ted:
I'm not surprised to hear about how witchy Anne Heche is. Wasn't Heather Graham's character in Bowfinger based on her (wannabe actress who sleeps with anyone, girl or guy, to get to the top)? Also, what's with the snarky comments about Gwyneth Paltrow? I've noticed a lot of negative remarks, especially from this site. I always thought she was a class act. Was I wrong?
—K., Austin, Texas
Dear Battle of the Blondes:
Anne wasn't the worst celeb we've seen, but she was definitely a little rude (and aided by an even ruder publicist). Gwyn, on the other hand, definitely deserves at least some snark. Trust the Ted on this one.
Dear Ted:
You should know that when Charlie and Margo appear on Truth, Lies & Ted, they divert all my attention away from you. Such cuties! OK, so I've been through the B.V. archives, and I have zero clue which B.V. might be Bradley Cooper. Any chance you could offer up a clue? Please?
—Harley
Dear Scrunchy Face:
No clues from this mouth! Tough luck, my dear!
Dear Ted:
Toothy Tile is Peter Facinelli, right?
—Katespencer
Dear Carlisle's Lying:
No. And go apologize to Jennie Garth for that one, please!
Dear Ted:
As a child of the '80s, I was so sad to hear of John Hughes' passing. Like many people, his movies really touched me as a teen because they helped me see that I really wasn't the only one miserable in high school—even the popular girls were, too! I recently came across the blog of a girl who, as a teenager, struck up a pen pal relationship with John Hughes. With all the celebrities coming out of the woodwork to pay their respect, this woman's beautiful story really is the greatest tribute anyone could make.
—Helen
Dear Hughes in Heaven:
What a wonderful, wonderful tribute. We'll miss John, and think of him whenever an angsty high schooler slams his locker or scribbles a note of unrequited love in her Trapper Keeper.
Dear Ted:
I adore Robert Buckley and can't wait to see him on One Tree Hill. Can you tell us more about him?
—Martha
Dear Stuck on Buck:
He's got incredible abs. Need we say more?
Dear Ted:
Just wanted to let you know that the "Tortured" Robsten post comments became the most gut-busting source of laughter I've read since I started with the A.T. in April—right after I saw the Wonderwall story about R and K Grocerygate (also known as Holdinghandsgate). It was a long summer, so more humor and less angst is a break.
—Pgreve
Dear Summitgate:
Now that Robsten is laughing off the Summit stronghold, there're bound to be more laughs with those two in the coming weeks. We hope.