Hide the sharp implements before you watch this clip, lest you be driven to put yourself out of the stultifying misery that will soon take your brain. Ready? Wait, don't forget the ice cream scoop, which can do a number on your eyeballs.

Okay. Now watch as cretinous housemates Jeff and Jordan encounter a spider, and prove once and for all that Big Brother is not scripted.

Apparently it's even more dull being on this show than watching it. On second thought, no.