For convenience sake, let's skip over the question of why anyone with a million bucks would consider Megan Hauserman a trophy wife. Unless she won a trophy in a Bonny Lee Bakley lookalike contest.

Anyway, picky Megan decided to play Valentine's Day with her rich gaggle of desperate suckers suitors—an excuse for forced gift-giving—and what she received from weird plumber Garth is a love song she simply does not deserve.

"Sex Mode." (Grab my stick and shift right in to sex mode…)

If they gave a reality show award for best song, this thing would take it hands-down. Not to mention the prize for Crotch Stretching While Dancing Whitely.