If you're like us, your feet, crotch, pits, breasts and, of course, ass are all ripe danger zones of wretched stench that keep normal humans at bay.

Which is why we got so excited, alone in front of the TV set in the middle of the night, by this breathtakingly hard-sell commercial for Doc Bottoms Aspray, a product that promises to kill the unholy odors that seep from our most intimate regions.

We mean your intimate regions.