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Everyone cares about Jessica Simpson again. Just look at those paparazzi acting like it's preconservatorship Britney Spears they're after.

Aw, see kids, it really is true what they say. When one door closes, another opens to a street full of paparazzi fighting among themselves to get a picture of you at your hairdresser Ken Paves' birthday party. That's just the circle of tabloid life.

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Get more celebrity breakups (isn't all that pain and humiliation so much fun?!) right here.