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Marie Osmond

Courtesy Janome

Guess her kinda creepy but fun turn on Dancing with the Stars didn't warm her up to network execs. Marie Osmond's talk show is the latest victim of the crap economy, now that her proposed one-hour talk show Marie is no longer airing in the Fall

This news would be a Morning Celebration as opposed to a Morning Piss, but it's just too bad. Truly, I mean that—without Osmond's show, whose sole point of existence would be filling up segments on The Soup, there's absolutely no truly wretched wholly Prop 8-supporting Mormon creative endeavor out there for the Awful Truth to rip a new one. That is, besides our beloved Twilight.

The Twi books and films totally support the "sex is bad," out-of-date Mormon doctrine—the same one that's keeping equal rights from being a reality in this country—but Mormon author Stephanie Meyer is directly responsible for the love that is Robsten, remember.

So, being an utterly hopeless Robsten devotee, how can I possibly deride the original source that beget the absolutely sizzling, mouth-salivating on-and-off-screen duo of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart?

Or maybe I should start? Would certainly be fair if I called Meyer out. Then again, it's only a matter of moments before Marie somehow finagles her way, and her narrow views, back on the boob-tube. Can't wait!