"We have a long time to be dead," Selma Blair says, noting that she's been repeating this mantra exhaustively. "And I spent so long trying to kill myself, or numb myself, or check out or figure out how to be alive by being half-dead. And now I just want to help other people feel better."
That epiphany came the devastatingly hard way, the 49-year-old actress finding out in August 2018 that she had multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disorder that attacks the central nervous system, which consists of the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves.
Introducing, Selma Blair, an at times gut-wrenching but also frequently funny and inspiring new documentary that opens in theaters Oct. 15 before premiering Oct. 21 on Discovery+, dips into the past darkness the Hellboy star alludes to, but mainly focuses on life since her diagnosis, particularly the summer of 2019 when she underwent a stem cell transplant that she could only hope would stop MS from ravaging her body any further.
While Blair announced in August that she's in remission and her "prognosis is great," the film, directed by Rachel Fleit, offers an up-close look at the toll MS—and the battle to fight it—took on her, showing her one minute giving Kim Kardashian a shout-out while sampling the cosmetics the reality star sent over because, as she jokes, "god knows nobody knows who she is," and then the next speaking painfully haltingly as fatigue washes over her and a cognitive fog sets in.
The 94-minute movie can be hard to watch, not least when you compare Blair's new normal to the parade of photos and footage of her looking glamorous and energetic and showing her pitch-perfect turns in contemporary classics such as Cruel Intentions and Legally Blonde. But that's also the point: Illness can be ugly, but it's the truth. And Blair is powering through and if she can...
"Disabled people like to have fun, too," she quips toward the beginning of the film as she dresses up in her Norma Desmond finest, a full-length leopard-print dress, emerald brooch and jeweled turban. As she grabs one of the elegant wooden canes she keeps on hand to help her get around, painstakingly going down the stairs one at a time, she's as ready for her closeup as she can be.
As it becomes increasingly hard for her to talk in that same sequence, she tears up. "That's what happens that I don't want people to see," she cries, before showing us just about everything.
At the same time, she adds, "I gotta laugh. Look at how I'm dressed."
Laughter through tears is basically the overall vibe of the film, a raw, unsparing look at a previously vibrant actress, model and mom fighting for not just life itself, but a certain quality of life, mixed with periodic bursts of humor courtesy of Blair's deadpan delivery and her ability—no matter how exhausted or uncomfortable or frustrated she feels—to find something to joke about. At one point she finds out the massager she ordered to combat face puffiness is more of the personal-care-down-there variety of product—apparently the second time that's happened to her. And she totes a pair of little rubber baby hands with her everywhere, including to the hospital, and you can't help cracking up just by looking at them.
But she also doesn't hold back from sharing some truly demoralizing, painful moments, making for a visceral roller coaster of progress and setbacks.
Introducing, Selma Blair is in theaters Oct. 15 and will be streaming on Discovery+ starting Thursday, Oct. 21.