Review in a Hurry: OMG, the Jonas Brothers in 3-D! The promise-ring-wearing hotties—Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas—try to burn down the house, but their Burning Up tour makes for a tepid rock doc. Still, fevered tweens will scream themselves silly.
The Bigger Picture: After a guest stint in the Hannah Montana concert pic, the Jo Bros—more pop cheese from Disney—were bound to get their own 3-D extravaganza. But this rockumentary doesn't dimensionalize the dudes or take full advantage of the digital technology.
In a nod to the Beatles' A Hard Day's Night—surely lost on their fans—the movie starts with the sibs being pursued by throngs of rabid fans. Climbing into a helicopter, the chased—and chaste—guys are whisked away to their concert venue. But once they take the stage, any similarities to the lads from Liverpool abruptly end.
Natty clothes and slick production values can't mask the fact that these whiny-voiced boy banders, though energetic, aren't very polished or original performers. But as long as they strut and spin and do cartwheels, the shrieking teenyboppers adore them, waving glow sticks and singing along with one synthetic tune after another.
Since this has all been sanitized for your kids' protection, there are no lewd lyrics or wild hip gyrations. But to titillate in 3-D (and within a G rating), the bros thrust guitar necks, microphones, fingers and even a hot dog at the camera. If that's not subliminally and unsettlingly dirty enough, they also use hoses to spew the very female crowd with white foam. Burnin' up, indeed!
Between song and pseudo-suggestive segments, we glimpse the guys backstage, in their limo, at album signings, etc. But the trio's image is carefully controlled, so instead of revealing looks at their real lives, we get only staged scenes with banal patter.
Hey, what does it matter, there are still zillions to be made off these, um, new kids on the block.
The 180—a Second Opinion: The running time is blessedly short, at 76 minutes.