Dear Who's Playing Patty-Wack:
I think you're spot-on with Nikki, hon, that girl irritates the hell out of me for some reason. Rob does strike me as the lackadaisical dating type, but he's got plenty of options, trust. And he uses them, too!
Besides his obviously bizarre personal life, is Toothy Tile generally regarded by the public as being eccentric?
Dear Actions or Words:
His public appearances are hardly odd. Not for this town.
Am I like the only "sista" who gets your love for all things gossip, mostly those men on the D.L.? So, can you confirm for me, is there truth to one of the following being a D.L. brotha: Tyler Perry, Kanye West, Farnsworth Bentley and/or Ne-Yo.
—Say it Ain't So
Dear Way Low:
I'm not as easy as Kanye, sorry.
Is Casey Affleck the infamous Toothy Tile? Is Catherine Zeta-Jones the scandalous Fake à la Ferocity?
Dear Twice the Vice:
No to both. FALF is dwindling Lohan style; Jones seems quite healthy.
What is the real reason Chris Brown beat up Rihanna? Please find out the truth.
Dear Liars Remorse:
Would that excuse it, is that what you're saying?
Which way does the wind blow with Gerard Butler? Does he like the girls, guys or both? I think he's hot.
Dear Who's Blowin' Who:
Gerard may like the girls, but do they like him?
You're a goat. How can you talk about my gal like that? J.Lo? You suck.
Dear Milking It:
I'd rather be a goat than a bitch.
Why are celebrities giving their opinions about the Chris Brown fiasco? It only adds fuel to the fire. If both parties aren't giving clear answers to the media, chances are they're going to get back together. I don't think she will leave him, because he's probably begging for forgiveness.
Dear Love and Hate:
He already is. The question is what will RiRi do.
Would you say the majority of celebrities had to "put out" at some point in their career so they could get a role in a movie, TV show or even a singing gig? Know you can't give me a name outright, but can you give me the initials of the worst offender in T-town who's notorious for casting couch auditions?
Dear Feisty Gal:
Starts with a K...
If and when Brad and Angelina split up, it would only make sense for Brad to date someone low-profile, right? After all, he has expressed his hatred for the paps.
Dear Down and Out:
Maybe, but I don't see him pulling a George Clooney.
What is the fascination with Angelina? She is so obvious in every conceivable way. Who, I wonder, is the real vixen of Hollywood?
Dear Wax Off:
Her replacement, Megan Fox, duh.
I apologize if this has been asked before, but can you tell me if that cutie Bradley Cooper has ever been the subject of one of your blind items? Thanks!
Dear Super Snoop:
Sure thing, baby!
I love your column, but please be fair with your gay outings. If a gay or bi celebrity somehow shows his or her gay side in public, you should praise it and not write about it as a blind vice, OK?
Dear Complimentary Out:
Didn't you know, darling, being in one of our Vices is praise—it means you're making it in this town!
You totally called it between Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson. I remember some months back you told Owen in this very blog not to worry, that she'd be back after Armstrong. You were right. Take that, haters!
Dear Commitment Issues:
And I'll tell ya again—it won't last.
Just wonder why most of Brad Pitt's exes become famous after dating him? Is he a significant wonder?
Dear Status Clinger:
If you get a piece of the Pitt, you're clearly newsworthy.
OK, I am thinking Prius Crotch-Catch and Wally from One Black Boys Are Delicious Blind Vice are Paris Hilton and P. Diddy? Or Terri Hatcher?
Dear Perfect Match:
How close you are on that first pair.
If I see one more story about "Jen's" secrets to a great body I think I will vomit. She smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and has never had kids. I had that lifestyle too, when I was in my 20s! Why does the press dote on her? Last I looked she hadn't done anything important. That chick can't even maintain a relationship. Enough already!
You already have Brad, stop.
Nikki Reed, who in my opinion is a complete fame whore, seems to always get photographed when she has been hanging out with Rob Pattinson. Is there any truth to the rumors that say she calls the paparazzi before all these events to let them know where she'll be? Also, there are rumors going around that she has tried to get between Rob and Kristen Stewart. Do you know anything?
—Margie, New York
N.R. sure seems ga-ga over Rob.
I was just watching HSM3 and my gaydar was off the charts when it came to Zac Efron. Any chance he's Toothy Tile or Nevis Devine?
Zac's too young to be Toothy. Fab guess on Nevis though, but wrong guy. Think less dimply.