• Share
  • Tweet
  • Share

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have been busy "making humans."

According to the Ranch actor, Baby No. 2 is "inbound." During an appearance on The Tonight Show Wednesday, Ashton admitted life is about to get "intense" when he or she arrives. "You have two, so I'm getting ready to go from zone to man-to-man," he told Jimmy Fallon. "Do you have any tips?" The host responded, "I want you to just experience it and you're going to dig it."

As Mila has said before, she and Ashton are not as prepared this time around. "I'm worried. The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. I had like a catcher's mitt on," the TV star joked. "This one, I haven't done anything. I'm like, 'Well, we didn't break the first one.' They're really durable—that's what you realize. They don't break very easily."

The couple's firstborn, daughter Wyatt Kutcher, recently turned 2 years old. "We just had this second birthday party: Peppa Pig. That was the real deal. We don't make anything in America anymore," he said of the British cartoon. "It's like these English pigs. They couldn't dub them with American accents. Peppa's the business, though. 'Muddy puddles.' We walk around the house talking in the accents. 'Muddy puddles.' 'Dinosaur.' You know George? 'Brudda George!'" Jimmy is all too familiar with Peppa Pig. "It's in my dreams," he shared. "It's in my nightmares!"

"And they don't leave you!" Ashton said.

Ashton Kutcher, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show

Andrew Lipovsky/NBC

Times are different than when Ashton was a kid. Opening a new toy for Wyatt, for example, has become quite an ordeal. "You have to have a toolbox just to get it out. We have ruined opening presents for kids. She opens it and then it takes dad like a half hour to cut the plastic swizzle sticks off and break it. They've made everything too safe now," he complained. "When I was a kid, we were riding in the back of a pickup truck on the wheel well just trying not to fall out. Now, it's like you've got the kids backwards, reverse hold on the choke, and they're in the car seat like...sucking on their knee...'Is she alive?!' You can't see. It's gymnastics having children."

Ashton got so animated demonstrating how children are put into car seats that he "ripped" the crotch of his pants. "I think I just tore it," he said. "I think I had a nut hanging out of my pants."

He wasn't kidding this time. "Seriously," he warned Jimmy. "If you rewind..."

(E! and NBC are both members of the NBCUniversal family.)